Absolute Blue Invitation 6/20/14 - 6/22/14

Absolute Blue’s Futbol

It happens every other even year and unites us as a culture, nation and people. No, it's not election year, but I like where you're going with that. Since hockey and basketball are over and baseball isn’t quite interesting yet, this is when we once again pretend to be fans of the most popular sport on the planet besides binge drinking. And keeping in that fine tradition we turn a blind eye to the antics of its governing body that makes Madoff look like an underachiever. Yes, all your years of playing fantasy soccer will finally pay off and only add to the fervor which historically lasts 2 games into the double elimination tournament. It's the only time you will see us as a culture indulge in a sport devoid of tv timeouts, collective bargaining, mock drafts or even mascots. Time to stand in wonderment at the thrill of a 0-0 tie and realize that the yellow card is not just What's In Your Wallet. Sure, they stole the name from a true sport, you never know when the game’s over and they sure do pretend to get hurt a lot, but 46 billion people can’t be wong. And with that in mind we would like to offer some suggestions to FIFA to increase the marketability of this game we know as soccer:

-Sudden death at the end of regulation. Or for the African teams, Sudan death.

-Instant replay. As if the game could get any slower.

-Handcuffs. It's not like they're using them anyway.

-Cheerleaders. Wait, female cheerleaders.

We stand behind the US, 0-19 in World Cups, 2-0 in World Wars (except for Z)…

Friday we return to Matt’s Casbah in downtown Melbourne from 6:30 to 9:30…

Then Saturday it’s Neptune in Satellite Beach from 9 to 1…

And we wrap things up with a rain or shine performance at SBI from 1 to 5…