Absolute Blue Invitation 1/02/14 - 1/03/14

Absolute Blue’s Annualization

It’s that time of year again, when we reflect upon the progress made this year, evaluate objectives, review goals, assess performance then weep silently as we prepare for our annual shareholders meeting, where we undoubtedly will have a lot of splainin to do. To be sure, some goals remain unfulfilled, but this is by design for if all our goals are met we would have nothing else to live for and would most probably need to be put down. And while operationally we have accomplished much, many strategic initiatives lie dormant and largely ignored, like much of our music. And we have completed steps one and two of the plan outlined in Global Domination for Dummies, which consist of buying the book and opening it. Unfortunately we have made significant investments in infrastructure repurposing that make about as much sense as ordering takeout from Hooters. Some of the other highlights from the annual report:

-While trips to the ER are down dramatically, urgent care visits are up significantly and fungal infections still run rampant.

-Operating revenue and cash outflow are flat, like most of the notes played last year.

-We did not become, nor did we dance with, stars.

-Our international fan club expansion initiative was limited to a single elderly Western European woman known as the Albanian Octogenarian.

-We learned 3 new songs and 5 new jokes in 2014, both new records.

-We have made frequent and generous donations to the Global Methane Project.

-Our planned revenue stream for used body parts did not come to fruition after we were told that human livers cannot be shared, which severely affecting our bottom line.

Should we survive New Year’s Eve, please join us for a disjointed Friday night at the Monkey Bar in Indialantic, across from Paradise Beach, from 9 to 1…

And if not that, or because of that, meet us Saturday at the Sandbar in Cocoa Beach, at the end of 520, again from 9 to 1…