Absolute Blue Invitation 12/11/15 - 12/12/15

Absolute Blue Emblemizes

After years of research, several focus groups and hundreds of therapy sessions, we have come to the conclusion that Absolute Blue is missing a vital component common to every successful team. We have yet to provide a tangible symbol of our mission, a physical manifestation of our purpose. Yes, I speak of a mascot. We have not had one since Flash left the band. But now we begin the difficult and painstaking process of selecting the appropriate representation of our core goal, which of course combines mediocrity and alcohol. Immediately we eliminated references to potential inflammatory subjects such as indigenous tribes, urban radicalizations, religious deities, political figures, registered trademarks, recognized brand names, Kardashians, erectile dysfunction, baby bumps, music shaming, pending legislation or dancing with the stars (or anyone else) which limits us tremendously, however have selected the following as potential possibilities:

-We were ready to introduce the noble sea gull as our mascot until he took a tern for the worst.

-A newly discovered species of maladjusted Ursus maritimus seems to meet our needs, the bipolar bear.

-Don suggested as a metaphor the albatross would be appropriate, or its more glamorous subspecies, the jessica albatross.

-Kevin lobbied for the honey badger but under its full name, Honey I shrunk the badger.

-Our drummer offered his latest genetic experiment based on African cattle DNA that he likes to call the Billdebeest.

-My thinking is to go with the Antilope, which I’m guessing is the opposite of any other lope.

This Friday please find us at Millikens at the Port from 5 to 10 Friday…

Then Saturday it’s back to Squid Lips in Melbourne from 7 to 11…