Absolute Blue Invitation 12/31/15 - 1/02/16

Absolute Blue Extracts

As we close in on another year’s passing we should be spending time in quiet reflection upon the significant accomplishments of the previous 12 months and celebrate the fact that we have met many of our goals for 2015. Unfortunately the Absolute Blue Inc fourth quarter fiscal returns have been posted and we find ourselves on the brink of financial disaster, primarily based on our substantial investments in online poker and fantasy football. This means cutbacks across the board, including research and development and personnel benefits so don’t expect any new songs and prepare for a significant lack of hygiene in 2016. Also as a result of this crisis we have no choice but to close a majority of our worldwide operations thereby thwarting our global mission to extend the Absolute Blue doctrine and expand the proclivity of fart jokes universally.

But before we say goodbye to Dubai, so long to Hong Kong, auf Wiedersehen to South Brisbane, see you later to the equator, bon voyage to Joe’s garage, aloha to Mongolia, adieu to Peru, hasta la vista to the Sandinistas, cheerio to Sanantonio; we must say farewell to Sabadell, ciao to Krakow, we will need to depart from Stuttgart, we will leave from Geneveve as we disappear from Davangere…

New Year’s Eve we will be playing a private party, but join us this Saturday from 6:30 to 9:30 at Matt’s Casbah in downtown Melbourne where we will be partaking in the time honored tradition of the breaking of the New Year’s resolutions…

And be sure to make plans for our Steagles performance, Friday, Jan 8, from 8 to 12 at US1 and Eau Gallie...