Absolute Blue Invitation 9/02/16 - 9/03/16

Absolute Blue Polemicizes

We at Absolute Blue understand the furor surrounding some athletes refusing to participate in the nation anthem. But it seems like there could be a better way of making your voice heard rather than demeaning the lives of those who have and will serve this country, a country that allows them to get paid millions of dollars for playing a game. But we are no strangers to controversy. In the most famous example, after over 1000 performances of Brown Eyed Girl it got to the point that females with alternately hued eyes were seeking brown contact lenses, dark glasses and in extreme cases, retinal replacement surgery. So as per a court injunction we were forced to learn Green Eyed Lady or risk forfeiture of our union card, passport and pizza coupons. But it doesn’t end there. Next we expect to hear from rescue dogs offended by our performing Stray Cats, Boston upset at so much Chicago and Van Halen demanding we stop playing Van Morrison. Needless to say we will not be learning Fat Bottom Girls. Among the pending litigation:

-Bill to this day refuses to stand for the ultimate southern anthem Sweet Home Alabama and has been threatened with lawsuits many times but all were summarily dropped. Turns out he’s a drummer.

-John Fogerty himself was so offended with our rendition of Proud Mary that he initiated cease and desist orders against us. We have since ceased but not sure we can decyst as it’s not a tumor.

-Word spread through social media regarding Ed’s peculiar rendition of the Rolling Stone classic that apparently (We Won’t Ever Get No) Satisfaction.

-During a recent performance Skip knowingly and willingly farted during the second chorus of Mustang Sally, which raised a big stink.

-Archie, Betty and Veronica formally sanctioned the band when they found we were performing Sugar, Sugar under the influence of artificial sweeteners. Jughead, recently released on parole, again unavailable for comment.

We had a late addition to the schedule, so please join us for a Friday evening at Milliken’s Reef at Port Canaveral from 5:30 to 10…

Then Saturday it’s back to Squid Lips in Melbourne from 7 to 11…