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Absolute Blue Invitation 9/30/16 - 10/01/16


Absolute Blue’s Leagueoftheirown


It’s that time of year when we choose our players, perform the research, set our starting lineup, then go player for player against other teams. And in a convoluted algorithm, each player is assigned a score based on performance, age and probably hygiene. The only problem is that there is no shortage of ‘experts’ that will tell you that Mathews will run for 123 yards and 2 touchdowns when his final tally consisted of 2 rushes for -5 yards. So what we really need is a league that no one even knows, much less cares, about. So we have developed what we call the Bantasy League, where musicians go head to head against their local counterparts and are evaluated not only based on merits such as playing the correct note and not falling down, but offstage behavior such as felonies, indictments, arrests (subdivided into acquittals and convictions), subpoenas and summons. Among the top draft picks:


-Skip: Has the uncanny ability to wear many hats, metaphorically and literally, from fedoras to kepis. Cons: Speaks with such a North Carolinian twang that we think he makes up words and definitely takes liberties with their meanings. Flossing techniques are questionable.

-Don: Pros: Mostly wardrobe related. Wears shirts with more flowers than most gardens and some countries. Cons: One note solos often played with the wrong note. And his new political agenda #HornLivesMatter.

-Kevin: Pros: Plays the slidey thing like no one else can. Probably because no one else does. Excels at being late. Cons: Either punctuality, timeliness or regularity, depends.

-Tom: Pros: Practically none as he plays the bass. Cons: Practically all as, again, he plays the bass.

-Bill: Pros: Shows artistic vision and unconventional improvisational skills when reciting song lyrics. Grows a great head of hair. Cons: Leans so far to the right he sometimes falls off the drum stool. That and chunks.


Join us for the only performance for The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love this weekend as we return to Coconuts in Cocoa Beach Friday 7 to 11…

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