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Absolute Blue Invitation 5/11/18 - 5/12/18

Absolute Blue Corporatizes


Few realize it but Absolute Blue, Inc. is publicly held. This means anyone can give a band member a hug at any time. It also means that any referential documentation of said company is public record. Including the minutes to our yearly meeting:




Treasurer’s Report: We are sad to say that total reserves are down to $78.77 due to a five dollar hardship withdrawal from Skip for a pack of smokes.


Absolute Blue Medical Plan: We are pleased to announce that any member in good standing is now entitled to both a tourniquet and a bottle of Jack.


New Business:

-Don made a motion that he be granted special powers such an x-ray vision or telekinesis. This failed to pass as he has yet again failed to grasp the reason for these meetings.

-Skip recommended that we adopt the metric system. This passed unanimously and we will now drink beer in meters.

-Kevin suggested that we adopt into Corporate policy his No Fish Left Behind program for at risk and wayward fishes, due to a sudden increase in fish on fish crime. This failed mostly due to bewilderment.

-Bill proposed that we allow pets to register as Republican or Democrat, provided they know not only the issues at hand but also who’s a good boy. This was tabled until someone can figure out what the hell he's talking about.

-Tom made a motion but it turned out to be more of an obscene gesture.


Meeting was then adjourned due to lack of interest.



Join us for a Saturday afternoon at Sandbar in Cocoa Beach, at the end of 520, from 3 to 7…

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