Absolute Blue Invitation 12/06/19 - 12/07/19

Absolute Blue Vegetizes

In an effort to drain the last bit of value from our health plan this year, as well as take advantage of a Groupon, we collectively went to the doctor last week and after a cursory exam we were told the only thing that would alleviate our many and varied ailments was more roughage. So Don punched Kevin, Kevin kicked Tom, Tom slapped Skip, Skip whacked Bill and Bill smacked Don, while the doctor watched in amazement. Turns out we just needed to get more fiber. He gave us two options, either a suppository, which we googled and, well, no. Or to eat more vegetables. This seemed much less invasive, but we didn’t want to settle for the simple joy of Bok Choy or the gender insensitive Chickpea. So we each developed our own unique recipe which represents our own personality and cultural heritage and also conforms to our own culinary program we like to call Make America Grate Again, which is sure to put the itch back in spinach:

-Pucumbers: Laced with croton oil, this potent purgative has been a staple in Kevin’s family for generations. Guaranteed to spew the stew, hurl the swirl and gag the nag.

-Okra Winfrey: Skip’s most inspiring recipe garnered rave reviews for its texture and presentation. Proudly served to all freedom loving Americans with no apologies.

-Sasquash: Based on the zucchini of mythical proportions, this seldom seen and rarely photographed dish is a favorite of Bill’s although he never remembers ever having it. Most probably more urban legend than food.

-Below Parsnips: Tom’s underachieving dish strives for mediocrity then fails miserably. Similar in experience to chewing a used damp sweat sock only without the nutritional value.

-Swiss Charred: Culinary history was made when Don mistakenly burned some of that cheese with the holes in it.

Join us for a Friday night at Sunset Waterfront Grill and Bar in Cocoa Beach, on 520 at the river, from 5 to 10…

Then Saturday it’s the Tiki in Sebastian, on Indian River just south of Main Street, from 7 to 11…