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Absolute Blue Invitation 10/23/20 - 10/24/20

Absolute Blue Mobilizes

We here at Absolute Blue have seen enough. We simply cannot stand by while the country that we have come to tolerate as much as the next is turned into a cacophony of discord, rife with dissension bordering on anarchy. The time has come to take swift and decisive action. Therefore, we have officially applied for membership in a number of quasi political organizations. In an effort to make the largest possible impact, we started with some hard-core groups known as malicious militias but could not meet their minimum firepower requirements as they refused to recognize a very impressive Nerf arsenal. Next we tried the less ambitious vicious militias and were summarily dismissed for breaking rank for happy hour and questionable attire. Then came the suspiciously fictitious militias which, turns out, don’t even exist. So we carefully examined the strategies and tactics that individually suited ourselves and created our own group we like to call the Delicious Militia, as the Loud Boys was already taken. The major points of our manifesto:

 

-Unfortunately Don thought CueAnon was a support group for billiard addicts so our initial meetings were a bit confusing.

-We will call for reinstatement of the Affordable Pear Act, ensuring there is no fruit left behind.

-We will initiate and support Flantifa, the custard based movement advocating an anti authoritarian platform for all desserts.

-We will work with council to create the Phillybuster: The world’s largest cheesesteak.

-We will petition local, state and federal agencies to expose the members of the Deep Dish State and reveal their strategy to secretly control the worldwide pizza supply.

-We will be submitting our plan to replace the Supreme Court with a Food Court, because who doesn’t like Panda Express.

 

Join us for a step toward normalcy at Mainstreet in downtown Melbourne Saturday from 6 to 10….

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