Fan Access

Latest Buzz

No posts to display.

Absolute Blue Invitation 9/14/12 - 9/15/12

Absolute Blue Gets Indicted

Unbeknownst to the band, agents from the newly created Department of Musicians, Acrobats, Jugglers and Clowns, a division of Obama, Inc, have infiltrated the organization and are officially bringing charges against The Worst Band You'll Ever Love. For a number of months agents have posed as bartenders, patrons and hookers in an elaborate undercover sting operation to get inside information about the intricate workings of this efficiently run business machine. As a result, a number of accusations have been levied, each one prosecutable to the full extent of this or any other law. We were totally unprepared for the findings and anxiously await our day in court, as we have so many times before. A summary of the charges:

Several songs performed on the night in question have never actually been written.
Knowingly ingested premium and exotic beer with the express intent of altering the predetermined set structure to include more Skynrd songs.
Repeatedly exchanged notes, including sharps and flats, for certain favors, including chewing gum and pizza coupons.
In an Olympic twist, intentionally played wrong notes at incorrect tempos to gain a more favorable song list in an upcoming set.

We feel that we have been unjustly singled out and consider these charges to be an affront to every hard working, beer drinking musician. Each allegation will be addressed by Absolute Blue's team of lawyers as soon as they make bail. We as an organization take these accusations very seriously as no doubt they will require substantially more than our usual budgeted bribe expense or at least an extended timeout..


Only one chance to catch Absolute Blue this week, Saturday at Squid Lips from 7 to 11...

 

You have no rights to post comments

Upcoming Events

No events

Absolute Blue, Powered by Joomla!