Absolute Blue Invitation 7/12/13 - 7/14/13

Absolute Blue Spies

Not to be excluded from any past or present, real or imagined controversy, The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love has again been implicated, this time in a surveillance scandal. Documents obtained by several news agencies, Paula Dean and PETA have implied that the organization participated in the compilation and analysis of personal information from a number of different sources, including pizza coupon redemption data, shoe size approximations and crude oil consumption habits, some say to gain an unfair advantage over competitors, vendors or creditors. The simple truth is that since the collection of this data there has not been a single music related tragedy. Coincidence? We think not. In fact we are convinced that our vigilance has prevented numerous incidents of auditory extremism or at least help keep our collective cholesterol levels in check. In the meantime we have officially submitted our application for asylum to the City of Indian Harbor Beach and await approval or any related extradition from a nearby Starbucks. For proof of our information gathering we offer the following:

One Absolute Blue member has made over 5000 prank phone calls to local and state officials warning of an imminent zombie infestation caused by tainted 7-11 frozen burritos.

Another has some 4 dozen outstanding parking tickets under the pseudonym of Baron Van Kilderblaster and has tried unsuccessfully to obtain a passport under that moniker.

Yet another has voted along party lines consistently since 1987, assuming is imprudence considered a party.

When he’s not playing music this member has developed a penchant for late night infomercials and has purchased over $5K worth of shamwows and snuggies.

And another has developed such a fixation on Greta Von Susteren that she has filed restraining orders against him in 10 different countries and as many languages.

OK, so maybe we should have spied on more than ourselves, but that would have required removing oneself from the couch and some actual effort…

This weekend bring us back to Lou’s Blues Friday night from 9:30 to 1:30…

Then Saturday it’s a party at Siggy’s in Palm Bay from 9:00 to 1…

And Sunday we hit Cocoa Beach again, performing at the Sandbar, at the end of 520, from 4 to 8…