Absolute Blue Invitation 9/20/13 - 9/21/13

Absolute Blue’s Dogmata

Little is known about the early years of Absolute Blue, of their political views and philosophies but recent documents made available under the Freedom Of Information act paint a clearer picture. While it is well known that the band was granted musical asylum in the latter days of the Carter administration, most likely by mistake, the question remains as to how they were exiled by a pissed off Gerald Ford. Could it be more than wiener jokes and flatulence references that got them banished from their homeland? Or perhaps their unwavering musical efficacy and their insistence on remaining deliciously judicious. One thing is for sure: the group now embraces bipartisan musicality. Gone are the days where Kevin refused to play sharps and Don refused to play flats. They remain committed to their fundamental roots of contingent sovereignty on one hand and a sandwich in the other. So much so that:

Our drummer divided up his clients questionably to benefit his lawn care empire, unwittingly creating the first case of Billymandering.

Skip put the goober in Gubernatorial.

We listened to Kevin speak many times of his approval of O’Reily’s views until we learned he was talking about the auto parts guy.

Don began an intense study of Soviet economic and political reform once he learned the difference between perestroika and Paris Hilton.

Tom hates the Dallas Cowboys so much he has registered officially as the first Romophobe.

Yeah, we don’t know how that last one got in there either, but we’ll have a talk with Quality Control…

Only one chance to catch the proletariat musical renderings of The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love. Join us Saturday at The Old Fish House at Treasure Coast Marina in Grant from 6 to 10…