Absolute Blue Invitation 9/27/13 - 9/28/13

Absolute Blue’s Form Letter

Dear Molly,

Hello and how are you? We hope that you are truly well. Our records indicate that you have not seen the band since 3/14/09. We value you as a customer and would hate for you to lose out on all the benefits due you as a member of the Absolute Blunatics. As a member in good standing you are entitled to a complementary week on Match.com, free legal advice from any band member and two for one laser tag coupons. We are pleased to inform you that much has happened since you last saw the band. Some highlights:

-The band has gone through 3 different guitarists, most of them Flash.

-They learned many new songs, replacing their old material with even older material.

-Adopted a Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy that covers everything from political affiliation to ED prescriptions and more.

-They have gone through a series of transcendental meditation, sensitivity training and electric shock treatments to curb a variety of abhorrent behaviors.

-Acknowledged beer as a gateway drink.

-Tom is really very sorry.

Our records show that you enjoy tap dancing and spaghetti. You get that and so much more at an Absolute Blue performance. In fact your favorite band member, Eric, mentions you frequently. So don’t let your membership expire. Come on out and see The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love this weekend and you will be automatically renewed!

Absolute Blue, Inc.

Two chances to renew this weekend, with a party at Tapps, at the NW corner of Babcock and Palm Bay Road, Friday from 9:30 to 1:30…

Saturday it’s back to Pineda Inn from 7 to 11…