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Absolute Blue Invitation 10/25/13 - 10/26/13

Absolute Blue’s Randominity

While we are glad that the government is back online, what we need to realize is that there is such a backlog of bribery, skullduggery, partisan politrickery and lame duckery that your simple document request will not be addressed until early next year, with Obamacare going so well and all.

We are consistently outraged at the millions of dollars being donated for cancer. We at Absolute Blue have been and always will be against cancer.

We would also like to suggest that instead of pay per view, the viewers themselves be compensated in cases where their sports teams especially suck. So instead of paying to see the Jaguars incompetence, those witnessing the debacle would actually be paid for each minute they had to sit through, kind of a revenue sharing that includes the fan. Or at least a bartering system so that each hour we have to sit through the Astros on ESPN we earn an hour of Buxom Beach Babes on Playtime.

And as we look forward to our relaunch, we will be taking donations for Don’s facelift, Tom’s buttlift, Bill’s botox, Kevin’s lipo, Skip’s implants and rhinoplasty for our pet rhinoceros.

And Skip asked if all the cows suddenly died if it would be a cattleclysmic event.

 

Only one damn thing to do this weekend: Get on down to Pineda Inn on Saturday from 7 to 11. See you there…


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