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Absolute Blue Invitation 2/24/17 - 2/25/17
Absolute Blue Italicizes
Given the recent policies implemented by our newly forming national government, travel to certain areas is becoming challenging if not entirely problematic. So why take the bother? We at Absolute Blue Inc. propose a series of projects that will allow you the same experience without leaving the confines of our own walled nation. And what better place to start with than the land of true contrast, where they invented not only the Pope but the Mafia as well. Of course I speak of Italy and its richly sordid heritage. Just imagine Carpe Diem at the coliseum or exploring the apocalypse at the acropolis here in your own front yard. Even better, we put a twist on things to make it even better than the original. So get off your Athens and behold the grandeur:
Billan: A new mecca of fashion geared toward the southern gentleman. Includes unique and potentially treasonous wardrobe pieces made of camo and the rebel flag.
Prompei: A high school dance disaster reenacted twice daily. Kinda like Carrie with lava.
Venice-ice-baby: Check out the drainage ditches around Vanilla’s mobile home park.
Subparthenon: Inspired by the actual ruins from some 2500 years ago, but comprised mostly of Styrofoam and leftover toothpicks.
Vatican’t: Features illustrations of the inability of Catholic doctrine to affect change regionally or globally.
Leasing Tower Of Lisa: Actually just a tall woman with bad posture.
Friday finds us back at Malabar Mo’s from 7 to 11…
Then catch us Saturday from 7 to 11 at the Tiki in Sebastian, just south of Main Street on Indian River Drive…
And make plans now for our return to Lou’s Blues March 3rd…
Absolute Blue Invitation 2/17/17 - 2/19/17
Absolute Blue Raps
It may not happen. No reason for alarm. Just because it’s happened night after night. Might not happen.
But it does.
As the hour hits midnight the sound appears faint and distant but cuts through the still night. It can’t be drowned out and refuses to be ignored. Driven by loss of sleep and desperation you slowly rise and make your way to the bedroom door, your eyes long accustomed to the darkness. Silently opening the door you hold your breath. Even louder the cadence quickens. The only thought is that it might stop. It could stop.
But it doesn’t.
Slowly making your way down the hall, singly focused, you take comfort in the fact you are alone and whatever you face, you face it yourself with no other lives hanging in the balance. This fate is yours alone. You could stay out of the kitchen where it is coming from.
But you don’t.
The roaring starts as you enter the kitchen. Unable to focus on anything but the pounding and resulting echo you frantically look for the source and are able to just make out a drawer vibrating with each deafening roar. You stagger to the counter and grab the handle, woefully unprepared for what awaits you. With a massive pull it opens and you try to make sense of the horror inside. It can’t be. Just can’t be…
Join us for a Friday night at Coconuts in Cocoa Beach from 7 to 11…
And Sunday marks our 2017 return to SBI from 1 to 5…
Absolute Blue Invitation 2/10/17 - 2/12/17
Absolute Blue Telephones
Just phoning it in this week…
-Steve Jobs would have been a better president than Donald Trump. But it’s really not a fair comparison. Like comparing apples to oranges.
-My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 this morning! Can you believe that? Luckily for him I was still up playing my bagpipes.
-What do you call 100 rabbits walking backward? A receding hare line.
-If you think your job is meaningless, remember somewhere someone is installing the turn signal on a BMW.
-Just bought the world’s worst thesaurus. Not only is it terrible it’s also terrible.
-For all those Trump haters: China built a wall 2000 years ago and still has no Mexicans.
-My girlfriend admitted to me she used to be Christian. I’ve only known her since she was Christine.
-Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish and he’ll become a prince.
-Women are like hurricanes. They come into your life wild and free then leave with the PATIO FURNITURE WE BOUGHT TOGETHER SARAH YOU BITCH…
Join us for a double header this weekend at Keith’s Oyster Bar at Cocoa Beach Pier from 6 to 10 Friday and Saturday…
Then it’s finally back to the Sandbar in Cocoa Beach, at the end of 520, from 4 to 8 Sunday…
Absolute Blue Invitation 2/03/17 - 2/04/17
Absolute Blue Motivates
We take great inspiration in the fact that a band can influence an administration to such a degree and applaud Pink Floyd for their efforts. We feel privileged to live in a country where a band can make a difference, where a simple musical organization from Satellite Beach can affect change. This time perhaps for the better. And we’re not talking about something frivolous. We have our sights set on something on a national scale. Like bringing back the McRib, making Nancy Grace relevant or ensuring that every American regardless of race, gender or belief system receives the same Bed, Bath and Beyond coupon for 40% off one regularly priced item, not to be used in combination with other offers, that does not apply to sales tax and is subject to availability. But wait, there’s more:
-Don put together a plan he likes to call Odonacare, which has a considerably scaled back budget but does provide each US citizen with a bottle of jack and a tourniquet.
-Kevin has plans for yet another wall, this time on the Canadian border not so much to keep them out but to keep us in as we are continually tempted by their promises of unlimited maple syrup, socialized health care and parka clad women.
-Skip proposes more immigration control, this time aimed at the radicalized Episcopalians with their fancy Sunday hats, exceptional manners and outstanding potlucks.
-Tom has once and for all proven that Global Warming is a myth, demonstrating that any truth can be renounced by simply disregarding facts. He was also able to use the reverse logic to prove there is a Santa Clause and dogs cannot look up.
-And Bill, for all his GOP support over the years, has been finally granted a position in the new cabinet. Look for him in the kitchen next to the Spaghettios.
Join us for our single event this weekend, Friday from 9 to 12 at Grind and Grape, On Bougainvillea, just off Ocean Blvd in Vero Beach…