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Absolute Blue Invitation 8/26/16 - 8/27/16
Absolute Blue Surveys
Thank you for your interest in Absolute Blue! Please take a moment to complete our short survey so that we may better meet you future entertainment needs:
I would like to see Absolute Blue do less:
___Talking between songs
I would like the band to be:
___More open to requests
___Less likely to tell fart jokes
The band should take more bathroom breaks:
I would like the band to show:
___A demonstrative awareness of global politics
___A sensitivity to the widening array of women’s issues
___Less of Tom
One thing I would change about Absolute Blue is:
___Their persistent lack of punctuality
___Their perfunctory conservative views
Join us for a Friday and Saturday at Keith’s Oyster Bar at Cocoa Beach Pier from 6 to 10 both days…
Absolute Blue Invitation 8/19/16 - 8/21/16
Absolute Blue Olympicizes
Now that the Rio Olympics are or at least could be over, and the bacteria ridden water and rampant fires are but a distant memory, we are left alone with our thoughts. Like if monks competed in track and field we could have people chaste in the steeplechase. And if we have pole vaulting, why can’t we jump over Czechoslovakians too? If the horse runs the course twice would it be the requestrian? And if we performed with a shuttlecock it would not just be badminton it would be worse. And enough with these arcane measurements. Why can’t they use real dimensions, like feet, pounds or hectares? Instead we have to perform convoluted calculations, carry the one and come up with like the 128,325 inch race. Does anyone even know how far 10K is? Of course not. Why not call it the 94.86 gallon jump or the 127.5 joule deadlift? And since there are already plans to introduce new events at the 2024 Reykjavik summer games, such as gargling, pinterest and politics, we at Absolute Blue Inc. have suggested the following improvements designed to enhance viewer appeal, increase advertising revenue and perhaps instigate unrest:
-Discontinuing those events that have disparagingly religious overtones, such as Judo.
-Adding one for the Catholics, the Repentathlon. Where the first to confess 5 sins receives a gold medal and absolution.
-And one for the blue collar crowd: Chain Link Fencing.
-An event that combines the pageantry of the Olympic games with the thrill of competitive eating: The Fryathlon.
-Introducing the MC Hammer Throw: You can’t touch this. Nor should you want to.
-An event with a general distrust of grand theories and ideologies as well as a problematical relationship with any notion of sports: The Post Modern Pentathlon.
-The pool event where anything goes: the Kitchen Synchronized Swimming.
Friday we return to Malabar Mo’s to try again to get it right from 7 to 11…
Saturday we tend to a private function, but Sunday please make plans for a pleasant afternoon, rain or shine, at Sebastian Beach Inn, from 1 to 5…
Absolute Blue Invitation 8/12/16 - 8/14/16
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Join us Saturday from 9 to 12 at Grind and Grape, on Bougainvillea just off Ocean Drive in Vero…
Then Sunday it’s Malabar Mo’s from 4 to 8….
Absolute Blue Invitation 8/06/16 - 8/07/16
Absolute Blue HillBillys
Much has been written regarding our drummer’s political pontification. To set the record straight please review the following:
Come and listen to a story bout a man named Bill
Once a democrat, he might have been one still
But then one day he was watching his tv
And along came a man who told him ‘bout the Tea
Party that is…budget deficit concerns…tax reform
Next thing you know it old Bill’s conservative
His old friends say, Bill, that’s no way to live
He told them all that they should get a life
So he packed his pickup truck and moved to Satellite
Beach that is…high humidity…higher taxes…
Join us as we return to Squid Lips in Melbourne from 7 to 11 Friday…
Then Saturday it’s Matt’s Casbah in downtown Melbourne from 6:30 to 9:30…