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Absolute Blue Invitation 5/28/15 - 5/29/15
Absolute Blue Trains
It has come to our attention that we have collectively been lacking in a most rudimentary skill, one that any second grader will tell you essential to the future success of our and other civilizations. We were unfortunate enough to have missed out on some critical technological experience and are just now struggling to keep up. It is with this in mind that we have put together a training session just like that workout guy on tv that punches through the air like it was nothing, like it mostly is. So whether you are crushing candy, angering birds of leaguing legends this program is designed to put you at the top of your game. So hands (or thumbs) at 2 and 10 on your keyboard and begin:
Right 2 3 4 Down
4 Over 6 7 8 6 Right 2 3 4 No
3 7 6
2 8 7 4 Can’t 6
Up 4 3 2 Left 8 3 7
Again 4 3 2 Wrong 2 8
6 Right 4 5 6 7 8 Other wayNO!
7 2 2
8 Don’t 2 3 4 WTF 6 7 8 Dammit 3
Ok that was largely disastrous. Were you even really trying?
This week we exert our considerable influence over the space/time continuum and effectively change the weekend to start early. Join us for a celebration of this power at Tracey’s in Suntree, at Wickham and St Andrews, just a mile and a half north of Pineda, Thursday from 7:30 to 11:30…
Then Friday it’s a return to Malabar Mo’s from 7 to 11…
Absolute Blue Invitation 5/15/15 - 5/17/15
Absolute Blue Athleticizes
Yes, it’s hard to believe, but at one time Absolute Blue was individually members of many and varied sports teams. And now that statute of limitations has run out we can finally reveal the extent of our collective athletic feats. Think of it as further insight into the members of Absolute Blue or another effort at transparency or part of a twelve step program. Granted the last home plate they saw was full of wings and have left the gridiron, at least in Tom’s case, for the curling iron. And we're not just talking about their contributions in the fields of full contact needlepoint or hard core quilting, which have been considerable. Or that they tried so many times to ride a horse that they called it requestrian. Or that time they pole vaulted over a bunch of guys from Warsaw. Behold with envy or pity their many contributions:
-Don competed in a series of coffee related events and once placed nationally in the Decaflon.
-Skip was acquitted by the ASPCA after many a horse was drowned by his water polo team. He was the only one in town with a horse and often had to play polo solo.
-Kevin toured nationally with a Trank and/or Field team where he became known as the travelin javelin until he dropped the big heavy ball and quickly learned where to not put the shot put.
-Bill had a very successful baseball career and was directly responsible for the banning of cheerleaders from the field as he constantly tried to get to second base.
-Tom was the only one that could make badminton worse.
We are happy to announce our first doubleheader in years, this Friday and Saturday, from 7 to 11 at Keith’s Oyster Bar (formerly Oh Shucks) at the new Cocoa Beach Pier…
Then Sunday we’re back at Sebastian Beach Inn from 1 to 5…
Absolute Blue Invitation 5/08/15 - 5/09/15
Absolute Blue MD
We have looked now for a number of years for a way to supplement our cash flow because it has become clear that musicians are not paid as well as say plumbers, sanitation engineers or circus clowns. We have entertained a number of ideas, for example Don and Kevin wanted to be a pair of legals. Skip tried alchemy, but his attempt to turn water into strawberries proved fruitless. Tom wanted to start a petting zoo with his bear, Congenital Ben. But Bill came up with a brilliant plan. While today’s pharmaceutical market is more about promotion than diagnosis. More about profit than compassion, it seems like all we have to do is create a new disease, condition or malady and start diagnosing people with it. Once copyrighted, we can turn a profit on these without any skill, training or even cognitive thought. We can even offer upgrades, like replacing your old monia with new monia. Or creating a new strain of streptococcus, just because we like to say strep. In any case, we will put the ass is aspirin:
-For those complaining of joint pain: Nine or tendonitis.
-For those offering a Vlasic dill to a woman: Give Her Pickle Itis.
-For those that have never voted: Electile dysfunction.
-For those with digestive issues after listening to the trumpet: Donstipation.
-For those concerned with the influx of abbreviations and text speak: Vernacular Degeneration, LOL.
-For those with circulation issues after listening to Kevin: Deep Vein Trombosis.
-For those recently visiting Cuba: Castroenteritis.
-For the overly excited: Blunt Force Drama.
Anyways, join us for an evening of chaos Friday at Tiki Bar & Grill in Sebastian, just south of Main Street on Indian Harbor Blvd from 7 to 11…
And it’s Millikens at the Port from 5 to 10 on Saturday…
Absolute Blue Invitation 4/30/15 - 5/02/15
Absolute Blue Origins
Chapter 1: When Tommy Met Billy
It was Billy’s first meeting. It was Tommy’s 73rd. The facilitator at the head of the room called the meeting to order.
“Hello, my name’s Jimmy and I’m a musician.”
“Hello, Jimmy”, the group said not altogether and not enthusiastically.
Tommy nudged the newcomer. “What do you play?”
“Drums”, replied Billy.
Tommy snickered as he knew the Drummer’s meeting was down the hall.
“So you’re a musician then?”, Billy asked.
“Well, I bought a bass. And I’ve been looking at it.”
“That fails on many different levels”, Bill didn’t say.
“And it looks pretty easy to play, with only 3 strings and all.”
“Four. It is easy to play”, Bill didn’t lie. “And chicks dig it”, the not lying stopped.
“If I learned bass, could we start an orchestra?”
“Band. We could give it a try.”
“But don’t we need a guitar?”
“That’s what Jam Nights are for. You just go and pick one out. Like a buffet.”
“But don’t we need a keyboard or bagpipes or something?”
“They’re out there. You just can’t see them. Just play loud enough and they’ll come.”
“But what would we call our orchestra?”
“Band. I always wanted a band to match my eyes. Like periwinkle blue. Or cornflower blue,” Billy said as the waitress approached.
“Would you like Grey Goose or-“
“Absolut“, interrupted Tommy.
“Blue”, added Billy.
Billy looked at Tommy. Both smiled but for different reasons. Billy had a name. Tommy had a drink.
Join us this Thursday night at Tracy’s in Suntree from 7:30 to 11:30. It’s at Wickham and St Andrews, just a mile and a half north of Pineda…
Then Saturday we return to Squid Lips in Melbourne from 7 to 11….