FORMER SLOGANS OF ABSOLUTE BLUE
| Absolute Blue - Where Even Ugly Guys Have A Chance |
| Brought To You By Salmonella - The Other Anthrax |
| The Worst Band You'll Ever Love |
| Playing All The Music You Never Thought You'd Have To Hear |
| Absolute Blue - At Least They're Not The Groove Monsters |
| More Wrong Now Than Ever |
| Absolute Blue - An Alternative To Those High Cholestrol Bands |
| Serving The Palm Shores Metropolitan Area |
| Absolute Blue - If We Can't Play It, It's Probably Too Hard |
| Lather/Rinse/Repeat |
| Condemned By Fans And Critics Alike |
| Favorite Band Of Many Retirement Homes |
| Absolute Blue - No, It's Supposed To Be That Loud |
| You Know It's Live Because It's Out Of Tune |
| Absolute Blue - Better Than Some |
| The Band With More Gratitude Than Attitude |
| Setting New Standards For Mediocrity |
| The Band With More Personality Than Technicality |
| Where The Entertainment Is Always At Least This Good |
| At The Edge Of Consciousness |
| Freshly Squeezed |
| Is It Me, Is It You, Something Smells Like Ballyhoo |