Absolute Blue Invitation 6/17/22- 6/19/22

Absolute Blue Classifizes

At this point we have made the Horn Dogs Of Love a household name. But what we have yet to figure out is the exact taxonomy of the species. We have narrowed it down to two distinct subspecies, Donankevin and Kevinandon. And using carbon dating, a common practice before eHarmony, we were able to determine this could quite possibly be the first case of canis interruptus, which makes sense as many times we can’t seem to get a word in edgewise. Through DNA testing, the collection of which was highly questionable and most likely criminal, we were able to determine that they are most likely closely related to the order olfactorous superfluous and based on the smell we would have to agree. A more detailed analysis indicated that they descended from acutus vulgaris, which explains the fart jokes. Another possibility is accidentilus evacuous which explains the soiled newspapers or stains on the couch, depends. This belongs to the family kriskristopherus californicus, which explains Don’s love of west coast country music and proliferous aquaticus which is obviously Kevin. But then it gets a little fuzzy. For a specific species we have narrowed it down to the following possibilities:

-Chiwawa: Inspired by a chain of Mexican convenience stores.

-Snickerpoodle: A fuzzy breed that never gets hangry.

-Brautweiler: The original hot dog.

-Halfmastiff: Not sure about the other half.

-Hardcorgi: For those who like their heavy metal with a little fluff.

Join us for a Friday night at Main Street in Downtown Melbourne 5 to 10…

Then Saturday it’s Squid Lips in Melbourne from 6 to 10…

And we finish things off with a Sunday at Sunset Waterfront Bar and Grill in Cocoa Beach from 3 to 8…

Absolute Blue Invitation 6/03/22 - 6/04/22

Absolute Blue Monikizes

It was at a live show featuring her as well as her own impersonator, a show we like to call Cher And Cher Alike, that we first asked, if Cher had a nickname, where would it go? We have always admired great nicknames in history such as Genghis ‘Chaka’ Khan, Helen ‘Killer’ Keller, Robert E. ‘Apparent’ Lee and Atilla ‘The’ Hun. So we decided what was missing from our music was really badass nicknames. We managed to hire a ‘Moniker Consultant’ and after analyzing personality traits, criminal records and credit scores, the following were suggested: Skip ‘Squirrel’ Gosnell, Don ‘Babs’ Miller, Kevin ‘Scooter’ Trowbridge, Bill ‘Sugar’ Yearty and Tom ‘Dumbass’ Willett. Now some of these I don’t agree with but turns out it doesn’t matter as just like everything else the cost of nicknames has skyrocketed, and we were barely able to afford one. So in the future please refer to us as:

-Skip ‘Mad Dog’ Gosnell

-Don ‘Mad Dog’ Miller

-Kevin ‘Mad Dog’ Trowbridge

-Bill ‘Mad Dog’ Yearty

-Tom ‘Mad Dog’ Willett

Join us Friday evening from 6 to 8 at the City of West Melbourne Community Park Amphitheater, 3000 Minton Road, just North of 95…

Then Saturday it’s back to Mainstreet in Downtown Melbourne from 6 to 10…

Absolute Blue Invitation 5/27/22 - 5/29/22

Absolute Blue Toolicizes

We are happy to announce that our periodic communications are officially back after a series of misunderstandings that required legal intervention. Turns out Don soiled the couch again after receiving what he thought was a ‘restaining’ order. But the lawyers have been paid and all court mandated obligations fulfilled. When we last spoke we were talking about Kevin, our resident handyman. Do you lack the thrill of the drill? Do you loathe the lathe? Afraid to go Awl in? Whether you have doubts about your grout or are just skeptical of your receptacles, don’t be afraid of knocking on Kevin’s door. His tool collection is so extensive that he is enrolled in both Home Depot and Lowes’ Frequent Plier program. He participated in so many volunteer projects he is officially called The Mensch with a Wrench. All this and so much more. Can you believe he also:

-Illustrated the concept of ‘An Eye For An Eye’ with his reciprocating saw.

-Has been known to show his team spirit by shouting ‘Roll Tide!’ when using his Alabama hamma.

-Has taught us responsibility with his ‘He who kicks it fix it’ program.

-Likes to listen to Nirvana during his plumbing duties, earning him the nickname ‘Grunger with a Plunger’.

-Organized a volunteer group of business leaders to refurbish downtown shops called the Caulking Heads.

-Created the ‘Vice Grips’ project, which may or may not be a metaphor.

Join us for a Friday night at the Tiki Bar in Sebastian, on Indian River Blvd just south of Main Street…

Saturday we attend to a private event, but Sunday we return to Malabar Mo’s from 4 to 8…