Absolute Blue Invitation 11/05/21 - 11/06/21

Absolute Blue Treaterizes

So you say we’re too old? Trick or Treat is for children? That we would not degrade ourselves yet again? Well, you just got Tobleroned. It’s time for us to stand up for our rights as Americans and partake in the very basic principle of getting something for nothing. But it’s more than that. The simple goal here is to become candy neutral, to take in the amount of candy that we’ve given out through the years. Is it sad to think that we’re taking candy away from children? Perhaps, but if we’re crying it’s with 3 Musketears. We’re looking at picking up pounds of Mounds, a heyday of Paydays, a whole bunch of Nestle Crunch, heaps of Heaths, I mean enough to give us divertwixulitis. It’s like, no time for chit chat, gotta get my Kit Kat if you know what I mean. But included in our bounty were some more questionable off brand pieces, such as an alcohol laced bar called Sniquors. And one that indicated pronoun awareness, a Her/She bar. But that’s not all. We also found:

-In Tom’s bag was an I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butterfinger.

-Skip’s route included the Baptist church where he picked up several Jesus Pieces.

-Kevin believes there were trace elements of Viagra in his Mr. Woodbar.

-Bill had a candy bar that smelled of fish which turned out to be a Salmond Joy.

-Don found his candy could include either nougat, caramel or coconut in his appropriately named Maybe Ruth.

Join us for a Friday night back at Sunset Waterfront Grill and Bar in Cocoa Beach, on 520 at the river, from 5 to 9…

And Saturday it’s a new venue, Island Time Marina and Restaurant, in Cocoa Beach on 520 kinda by the same river, from 5 to 9…

Absolute Blue Invitation 10/29/21 - 10/30/21

Absolute Blue Halloweenisizes

‘Twas the night ‘fore All Hallows and all through the place

Something was amiss, something we had to face

Gone were the pitchers, filled up with cold brew

Gone were the bottles and cans we once knew

No Bud Light, no Yuengling, No Genuine Draft

No Amstel, no Keystone, no beers made from craft

But what was the reason that we’re in this bind?

Don paid with his Visa but it was declined

“I’ve got no more dollars, no quarters, no dimes

It’s enough now to make me stop drinking sometimes”

“Now stop all that talk’, I said with a wink

“Let’s figure out how we can pay for our drinks”

“I know!” cried Bill, “We can play for our beer!”

“Some places might like you, but not us, not here”

We knew that the bartender meant what he said

And now that our prospects were probably dead

So I and my drummer and Kevin and Don

Found that we can’t buy beer on Amazon

When all of a sudden there arose such a ruckus

We looked up to see then that Skip was among us

“I’ll buy the next round” he said with a grin

“And maybe the next, let the good times begin”

And then flowed the lager, the ales and the stout

Just when we thought that we might do without

Since everything seemed to have turned out all right

We’re wishing you all the best Halloween night

Join us for a Friday night at Sunset Waterfront Grille and Bar in Cocoa Beach, on 520 at the river from 5 to 9…

And Saturday it’s Pineda Inn for a Halloween Party from 7 to 11, featuring a costume contest and all kinds of fun…

Absolute Blue Invitation 10/15/21 - 10/16/21

Absolute Blue Vocabulizes

Upon completion of each of these posts, there remain some unused words, which we fully intend to repurpose, but there are rules regarding this, both real and imagined. Such as the laws of physics. Or the laws of psychics. I can’t remember. And even through there are resources such as the Chicago Manual of Style, which to us just contains horn charts, and The Saurus, which I could never figure out, questions still remain. Like, when giving an irrelevant response to a priest, would that be a non-secular non sequitur? Would the language heard in a Tijuana prison be considered Lexicon for Mexicons? Would the new practice of using sharks as a sexual metaphor (or metafive, whatever it takes) be considered finnuendo? If at some point during our Caribbean cruise we bored people, would this be considered being pedantic on the Atlantic? Or would we have to be more Pacific? The last thing we want to do is to use simile criminally, tell a terrible parable or be historically rhetorical in our effort to use spectacular vernacular. So as a result:

-Due to our trumpet player’s risqué banter we have renamed it Dontendre.

-Bing! Bam! Boom! Just like that Kevin created the first encyclopedia of onomatopoeia.

-Because Skip came from Mississippi and has a tendency to contradict himself, we call him Biloxymoron.

-Tom having to press his own shirts is a classic example of irony.

-And to be clear, our drummer is NOT Billiterate.

Join us for a Friday night at Squid Lips in Melbourne from 6 to 10…