Absolute Blue Invitation 4/12/13 - 4/13/13

Absolute Blue Apologizes…Again

It appears as though some took issue with the wording of last week’s announcement, where we referred to Luxembourg’s culture as banal, when in fact they are a warrior people, or at least avid readers. We were also surprised to learn that our weekly notification is regularly translated into 123 Languages and dialects and has offended just as many. Therefore, we would like to offer an apology for the following countries, peoples, organizations or factions: The People’s Republic of Congo, Icelandic Fundamentalists, Trinidad and/or Tobago, bits of Uzbekistan, what’s left of USSR, what will someday be Free Lanka and the seasonal inhabitants of Antarctica, where Don has been burned in effigy and throngs in thongs have protested against us with signs reading “Screw You, Absolute Blue” which we thought quite clever and have retained the rights to use in future promotional campaigns.

We have also heard from NOW, who has cited 187 separate instanced of derogatory, inflammatory or incendiary remarks against the female species (fortunately their archives only went back 6 weeks). In response we have issued a global apology for any and all remarks made about: the late Margaret Thatcher’s booty, Janet Reno’s bust and Nancy Pelosi’s lack thereof, any female or transgendered Kardashian, as well as stripper Poles and Czechoslovakians. Even PETA and ASPCA got into the act, as apparently flatulent cows and sheep are now under their jurisdiction.

After all this, believe me we have learned our lesson. For another week at least…

Friday finds us at Squid Lips in Melbourne from 7 to 11…

And Saturday it’s The Old Fish House at Treasure Coast Marina in Grant from 6 to 10…

Absolute Blue Invitation 4/05/13 - 4/07/13

Absolute Blue’s Warmongering

Enough with the cautious optimism. The time for action is now. We’ve heard of their antics for years, yet we do nothing about it. How long to we take the ridicule and threats from a country no larger than probably two of our states either put together or contiguously? And not two of those New England states either. Why, even the name, Luxembourg, literally means ‘Death To Americans’ in perhaps one or more of their ancient native languages. We’ve had it with their coffee drinking and the crossword puzzling. Even on the internet we read of them breeding sheep with explosive devices in their little sheep fluff that smell like Twizzlers to attract Americans and other types of tourists, then train them to enter the detonation codes with their little hooves then, boom, they go to sheep heaven, which is close to real heaven, just an exit or two before. Other facts we researched on the internet or simply made up:

They are a sneaky people, hiding in open air cafes during the day and sleeping at night.
Their primary export, other than Luxembourgers, is Basalt, which nobody knows what the hell is.
While not a nuclear power, they have many pointy sticks that can be thrown great distances.
Many people are born there every year.
Their military chemical warfare division is even now developing virulent strains of gingivitis.

So the answer is clear. Stop the menace before it’s too late. For the children. For the pets…

We start off a full weekend with a Friday night at Lou’s Blue from 9:30 to 1:30…

Then Saturday we return to the Sandbar in Cocoa Beach, at the end of 520. From 9 to 1…

And we finally blow it out with a Sunday afternoon at Malabar Mo’s from 4 to 8…

Absolute Blue Invitation 3/29/13 - 3/31/13

Absolute Blue’s Fracketology

Now that our brackets have not only been busted, but blowed up. Now that the only bracket on earth that correctly picked a 15, a 14 and a 13 seed is our daughter. Seriously (course she has Harvard in the final four). Now that we have damned Dick Vitale straight to hell, baby. Now that all our research including RPI, ELO and CHESS factors that once assured us the perfect bracket and the $1M prize, awarded in $10 weekly increments for 100,000 weeks, lasted until the second game. Now that all hope has been abandoned (FGCU? OMG, WTF?). Now that our current method, choosing the team with the hottest cheerleaders, isn’t panning out, we would like to offer some of the strategies that have previously failed us:

Picking a team with a coach’s name we can’t spell, although Krzyzewski served us well.

Teams with no discernable mascot. What the hell is a Zip anyway?

Teams with secondary colors, such as Fuchsia or Lavender. Stick with the primaries here.

Teams fielding known felons, however reveres this logic for football.

God, I miss Bobby Knight…

This weekend we tend to a private function Friday but return with a vengeance on Saturday from 6 to 10 at The Old Fish House at Treasure Coast Marina in Grant…

Then Sunday at the Sandbar in Cocoa Beach from 4 to 8…