Absolute Blue Invitation 3/15/13 - 3/17/13

Absolute Blue Celebrates

While we wait patiently for Cinco de Mayo, the calendar has blessed us with yet another gift, this time dedicated to a semi fictitious deity that may or may not have driven snakes that could have not existed from a land where they could have never been in the first place. Of course it’s St Patrick’s day, dedicated to drinking, debauching and rebauching. Brought to you by the Irish, who you just have to love. They cry during beer commercials and even their coffee will get your drunk. After all, it’s not like we need a reason for our revelry, but it does help to explain it to local law enforcement. It’s time to bring out the green and be on the alert for any anatomically correct garden gnomes. And we bring you other St Patrick trivia as well:

St Patrick was originally the patron saint of Ireland, then demoted to patron saint of asparagus, and finally the patron saint of hangovers after that last incident with the Pope.

St Patrick’s Day was not always celebrated on the 17th. Precise calculations based on the Mayan, Aztec and Julian calendars, then adjusted for daylight savings time, leap year and the moon’s gravitation pull on the earth timed this down to the second. It was then changed to allow more shopping days before Christmas.

Leprechauns are actually evil and foul smelling creatures. The image we have today is due to a positive marketing campaign to improve their image and sell us more cereal.

The leprechaun was not the first choice for the St Patrick’s Day mascot. Santa was already taken and negotiations with the Easter Bunny had come to a standstill. After trying to claim the Tooth Fairy off waivers and losing the Thanksgiving turkey to free agency, the leprechaun was signed for a minimal signing bonus and limited incentives.

And just so you know, everyone is welcome at our parade. Leading the way will be Michael Fitpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael…

We have a full holiday weekend in store for you beginning Friday at Lou’s Blue from 9:30 to 1:30…

Then an unusual Saturday night in Satellite Beach at Neptune, formerly The Cove, from 9 to 1…

And a return to SBI Sunday from 2 to 6…

Absolute Blue Invitation 3/08/13 - 3/09/13

Absolute Blue Reacts

There was a time when an inhabitant of our little rock, hurtling through the universe at 9300 miles an minute, felt safe. Recent events have proven that this is no longer true. Blizzards continue to pummel the north. Celestial bodies rain down upon us. The earth actually reaching up and grabbing one of our fine citizens. The Kardashians. There’s probably that whole ozone thing going on too. And if that’s not enough, Dennis Rodman détentes with Kim Jong Un. Clearly it is time for clear and decisive action to save us from this Global Storming. Other bands may sit idly by while havoc is unleashed around them, but The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love has taken it upon themselves to develop a clear strategy to combat these ever growing threats to our existence. Action items include:

Due to receding polar ice caps and herds of displaced native fauna, we propose a new program, A Penguin In Every Freezer.
A tsunami early warning system that will not only predict the size and time of impact, but alert surfers statewide for the ride of a lifetime. Perhaps to Orlando.
The first relocation of a major US city from Boston to Palatka. Many herds of goats have protested, but what the hell.
To deal with recurring wildfires, a temporary ban on public urination in parts of California and Colorado.
The world’s first meteorite deflection system, consisting of a series of really big rubber bands.

So there you have it. Think you’re gonna get something like this from Greg and Brian? Well, maybe but a coupla ours just might work…

We begin our weekend with a Friday night at Siggy’s in Palm Bay from 9:30 to 1:00...

Then Saturday it’s The Old Fish House at Treasure Coast Marina in Grant from 6 to 10...

Absolute Blue Invitation 3/01/13 - 3/03/13

Absolute Blue Races