Absolute Blue Genderizes
We remember a simpler time. When the choices were few. Betty or Veronica. Ginger or Mary Ann. Democrat or Republican. Scotch or Bourbon. Coffee or Tea. When we had 3 channels. That required significant effort to change. On a more personal note, we had heterosexual and homosexual. Then they went and invented bisexual, which we thought just meant it went away. Just when we were getting comfortable with that there comes a whole array of alternatives, surely designed for the single purpose of confusing us. Rather than just guess, which has caused us numerous problems and threats of litigation, we have designed the following guide to aid in averting any awkward confrontations or international incidents. Please remember that Absolute Blue Inc or any of its many affiliates cannot be held responsible for the imprudent use of the below or any actionable position you may find yourself in due to the dissemination of said information:
Disengendered: The removal of genderism, replaced by nationalism, socialism or nihilism.
Regendered: The practical application of gendering at repeated intervals.
Undergendered: Could be related to a lower threshold of gender or simply pertaining to the area of genderfication.
Autogendered: Based solely on Chevy/Ford preference and administered by assembly line. Popular in Detroit and surrounding areas.
Antigendered: Primarily political in nature, the basic concept is that whatever you currently are is wrong. Popular with Conservationists, Dance Instructors and Donald Trump.
Semigendered: For those with commitment issues.
Bruce Gendered: Just Caitlynn. For now.
This weekend we take the Cocoa Beach Pier by storm with performances at Keith’s Oyster bar Friday and Saturday from 6 to 10…
THIS JUST IN: Halloween party at Matt’s Casbah, downtown Melbourne, open to all, 8-11…