Absolute Blue Invitation 2/12/21 - 2/14/21

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Category: Front Page News

Published on Wednesday, 10 February 2021 21:17

Written by Absolute Blue

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Absolute Blue Commercializes

 

It has long been rumored through the years that The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love has ‘sold out’. We wish to refute these largely unfounded allegations once and for all. Truth is, selling out would actually involve some type of fiscal compensation, where the closest we’ve come in the past was some lukewarm Old Milwaukee Lights and several off-brand hotdogs.  What has been lacking is a clear, cohesive strategy that aligns with high profile corporate objectives. Like Bruce in a Jeep. Or Bill in a DeVille. We thought about Stray Cat Strut And Wheel Alignment At Taylor Automotive or Make Me Smile At Stadium Dentistry but believed we could do better. Then it was on to Does Anybody Really Know What Timex It Is and 25 or 6 to Ford, which are both clearly lacking in theme and construct. We pitched Gimme Three Steps to Space Coast Orthopedic and were escorted from the building. But we firmly believe that our latest offerings are sure to hit paydirt. Well, some kind of dirt anyway:

 

-A special Snack Time segment with Some Kinda Wonderful Pistachios.

-Unchain My Heartburn presented by Prilosec.

-Stihl Got The Blues For You, with optional chain saw solo that really shreds.

-Coggins Plumbing presents What I Like About Urinals.

-And the breakup song, You’re Gonna Miss My Oven (Cause it’s Self Cleaning) sponsored by Appliance Direct.

 

Join us for our first triple header in many, many months, beginning Friday at Malabar Mo’s from 7 to 11…

 

Then it’s a Saturday evening at Mainstreet in downtown Melbourne from 6 to 10…

 

And we finish it back where we started with a Valentine’s Day at Malabar Mo’s from 4 to 8…