Absolute Blue Invitation 2/11/22- 2/13/22

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Category: Front Page News

Published on Wednesday, 09 February 2022 22:23

Written by Absolute Blue

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Absolute Blue Olympicizes

 

It’s that time again when we put aside our geopolitical and cultural differences and come together for a brief time to share a common sporting experience. But since season three of Ted Lasso has been delayed again, all we are left with are the Winter Games. Sorry, but these pale in comparison to the width and breadth of the Summer Olympics. In fact, we propose these be called the D’ohlympics. I mean with all that cold and snow and all, how is a Floridian supposed to relate? At least they have the Men’s Downhill, something we know plenty about. But the rest of these events are in dire need of an update. And yes, we have a few ideas.

 

-Eliminating Cross Country. We feel it’s high time we left religion out of the proceedings.

-Stop referring to the athlete that makes his course attempt twice a two time Luger.

-When offered the option of watching the Super G, we will take the soup.

-Create an event based on real life experiences that are challenging enough, like going to the store and call it the Buyathlon.

-Combine eating and driving, like we all do, in the Shishkabobsled.

-For those of us with broad skepticism, subjectivism or relativism, a general suspicion of reason, or an acute sensitivity to the role of ideology in asserting and maintaining political and economic power, a Post Modern Pentathlon.

 

Joins us for a Friday at Squid Lips in Melbourne from 6 to 10…

 

Then Saturday at Island Time in Cocoa Beach, on 520 just west of A1A, from 5 to 9…

 

And our first performance ever at Lazy Turtle is a pre Super Bowl party from 2 to 6. The Turtle is on US1 just north of Port Malabar road in Palm Bay…