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Absolute Blue Invitation 1/06/17 - 1/08/17
Absolute Blue Hams
We at Absolute Blue once again have our finger on the pulse of America. Or at least we are in the same room as the machine that monitors the pulse of America. In any case, we’re in there somewhere. As a result, we have become aware of a phenomenon that we thought involved Zorro the Gay Blade, but turns out to be the story of our founding fathers rapping about the birth of our nation. Or at least the raising of it through its formative years. And now we see a generation of youth that paid no attention in school, suddenly interested in American History. Tupac would be so proud. Or maybe pissed, not sure. So we have developed our own ill-conceived and poorly executed production called Burr. It chronicles Raymond’s career starting with Gojira, through the rise of Perry Mason culminating in the enigmatic Ironside. And should that fail we have more projects in development and/or turnaround:
-Madison: Follows Dolly’s products starting with Zingers through the disaster that was Snowballs to the triumph of the Twinkie.
-Jackson: The story of how the MF snakes got on the MF plane.
-Jefferson: Documents George’s journey from a minor character in All In the Family to his own sitcom.
-Washington: Featuring the early years, culminating in the rise of the star that is Denzel.
-Adams: Telling the tale of Samuel’s best, featuring Boston Lager, Octoberfest and Harvest Pumpkin Ale.
-Hancock: Will Smith explains the ill-advised superhero fiasco.
-Harrison: Ford, obviously.
Join us for post-holiday Friday night at Grind and Grape in Vero Beach, on Bougainvillea just off Ocean Drive, from 9 to 12…
The Sunday it’s back to Malabar Mo’s from 4 to 8…
Absolute Blue Invitation 12/30/16 - 12/31/16
Absolute Blue Reflects
This is the time to reflect on a successful year, made possible only by your support. We survived, intact for the most part, and have enjoyed bringing you the unique and sometimes debilitating musical stylings that have become known as the Absolute Blue Experience. Sure there were some problems along the way, like when Tom had a root canal after the dentist told him he couldn’t handle the tooth. And that time we ran out of beer that became a real brewhaha. Not to mention the many times we worked through the noon hour in an effort we call Failure to Lunch. We had the best year since Skip joined the band, that fateful day when we heard him play Trashman and made him an offer he couldn’t refuse. And during our annual meeting of The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love Inc board and band members, lawyers, strategists, legislators and a couple of Hooters girls, we were able to unanimously approve the following resolutions for 2017:
-Continue the time honored tradition of playing notes and singing words at the same time.
-Remove any partisan politics from the Absolute Blue performance, and lean to the right only after jaeger shots.
-Learn the difference between flammable and inflammable. Also send a thank you note to the Satellite Beach fire department.
-Give appropriate credit to the source of our fart jokes, as they break the wind beneath our wings.
-Prove that a holomorphic function is indeed completely determined by its values on the inherent boundaries, that every non consistent single variable polynomial with complex coefficients has at least one complex root or that Bigfoot exists.
Please join us for a Friday night at Grind and Grape, in Vero Beach, on Bougainvillea just off Ocean Drive, from 9 to 12…
Then Saturday it’s the night you’ve been waiting for at Cocoa Beach Pier. There will be entertainment all night from 3 different bands, with us performing from 9 to 1. Only $35 gets you in the door and all the festivity you can handle…
Absolute Blue Invitation 12/23/16 - 12/24/16
Only one message for this week...
A Very MERRY CHRISTMAS to you and yours...
Please join us for a preholiday get together at Tiki Bar in Sebastian, just south of Main Street on Indian River Boulevard, from 7 to 11 Friday..
Absolute Blue Invitation 12/16/16 - 12/17/16
Absolute Blue Nauticalizes
We demand a recount. After all, are we to take someone's word and accept that as the final truth? Enough with the rhetoric, we want proof! I mean, with us on the Naughty list again it rivals Guns 'n Roses current steak. How come Santa gets to make the call? Shouldn’t there be checks and/or balances? Why can’t we be grading on a curve? We see a lot of other bands getting what they want for Christmas. And when does the evaluation period start anyway? We always figured it began on the first of the year so we have a 'free' week after Christmas, kind of like in The Purge. And what about an appeal process? We could put our crack team of lawyers on it, or more appropriately our team of crack lawyers. We put a lot of time and effort to turn things around and through the years we have even gone so far as to document, record and notarize the following to ensure our transition to 'Nice':
-Back on his Navy days, Kevin turned a weeklong furlough into a torrid affair with what is now known as Yuletide Carol. See also New Years Nancy and Arbor Day Annie.
-Skip has donated many slightly worn jeans and classic rock shirts so we believe we have Goodwill Toward Men covered. And some women.
-Bill has perfected his paradiddle which has solidified his current status as Little Drummer Boy of Satellite Beach. Parumpapapa, bitches.
-Don still has his Gay Apparel, mostly leftover from that Halloween we dressed up as the Village People.
-Tom wears clean underwear most of the time.
Yes, as fate would have it, Tom's underwear are in fact notarized.
This weekend we bring you a doubleheader at Keith’s Oyster Bar at Cocoa Beach Pier from 6 to 10 Friday and Saturday…