Absolute Blue Invitation 2/19/16 - 2/21/16

Absolute Blue Politifies

We are fed up. Fed up with the constant barrage of conflicting messages. Fed up with politics as usual. Fed up with being served a steaming pile of shiny crap. Trust me, we know what we’re talking about as Absolute Blue has been polishing turds for over 20 years. Years of planning and millions upon millions of dollars and this is the best the Big Two can do? Sure the debates start off strongly enough, with accusations, misrepresentations, innuendo and outright lies, but then quickly deteriorate into a bunch of words, a series of commas and an occasional period. It’s like a beauty pageant without the beauty and without the pageantry. At least at Wrestlemania they hit each other with chairs. It is because of this that the Absolute Blue Political Science and Pornography Evaluation Division has proposed a new set of political parties as the days of choosing ass or fat ass are obviously numbered. Please carefully review the following and let us know your preference. Your identity will remain anonymous unless you pick incorrectly:

-Denihilism: Maintains that life is without objective meaning, purpose, or intrinsic value, recognizes the perceived pointlessness of existence and that morality does not inherently exist. Then denies it.

-Exitstentialism: Believes that life is in fact a highway, although one should not drive it all night long.

-Tommunism: Of, for and pertaining to the thoughts, wishes and demands of Tom. Tom’s mom likes this one.

-Livertarianism: The belief that all internal organs are created equally. External perhaps not so.

-Trascism: A form of radical authoritarian nationalism. White Trascism would be a specific subset dealing with pickups, tobacco products and manufactured housing.

-Sudafederalism: A loosely configured organization where members are bound together by agreement or covenant, in this case relieving sinus pressure, pain and congestion related to the common cold.

Join us for the first full weekend of the year, starting with Tiki Bar in Sebastian Friday night from 7 to 11…

Saturday it’s back to Cocoa Beach Pier from 6 to 10…

And Sunday it’s our first SBI of the year, from 1 to 5…