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Absolute Blue Invitation 5/28/16 - 5/29/16


Absolute Blue Lavatorizes


We would just like to go on record that we have always supported the misgendered, degendered, antigendered, circumgendered, extragendered, hypergendered, intergendered, macrogendered, multigendered, polygendered, retrogendered, semigendered, turbogendered or alternately membered. And we relate to their struggles even as we fail to understand them. The good news is that we have all the important issues taken care of so we can turn our attention to the potty situation. But isn't this what we all want? The right to relieve oneself in a safe, comfortable, stress free environment without time limits or volume caps. A right that could well be guaranteed in the USS constitution, most probably somewhere in the back. To aid the cause we have already granted conditional use of our trademarked slogan ‘Go ahead, make my bidet’ for a nominal licensing fee. And I get that the logo is one half man and one half woman but what if you are left handed? And what about the washroom attendant? Not saying I’m ready for a career change but what would be the requirements? Would the protocol be to leave the seat up or down? Toilet paper from the bottom or top? We’ll assume that peeing on the seat is still forbidden or at least frowned upon. And would the machines dispense condoms, hygiene products or just cherry pez? So many questions…


Join us this Friday for a night of frivolity at the Tiki in Sebastian from 7 to 11…


Saturday it’s back to the Cocoa Beach Pier from 6 to 10…


And make plans now for our first ever performance at Stemz Bar and Bistro in Suntree on June 11th. It’s on North Wickham, just across from Publix. Come on down and bring your frienz to Stemz…

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