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Absolute Blue Invitation 10/21/16 - 10/22/16


Absolute Blue Sustains


We met with climatologists, environmentalists, ecologists and some Hooters girls to determine the total footprint of an Absolute Blue performance. The goal was to remain diverse and productive indefinitely while minimizing what we actually had to do. Previously we tried carbon dating, but carbon only wanted to be friends. The result was a plan for sustainability and some very tasty wings. This required us to carefully evaluate the resources required by Absolute Blue and how these are transformed, however in attempting to measure the resulting by products we found that methane collection was not only exceedingly embarrassing but highly combustible and we also wound up with 5 gallons of sweat that has been classified as toxic waste. Other ways we are becoming resource independent:


-Absolute Blue only uses locally sourced, organic, free range notes with no antibiotics, except those routinely administered to the band.

-Words used by Absolute Blue, while seemingly random at times, can be used again and replaced with synonyms from Icelandic or Slavic based languages.

-To meet our ever increasing power needs, Kevin has configured a small but exceedingly dangerous nuclear reactor out of an old toaster, a few buttons and some mayonnaise, using the beef from a 7-11 burrito as fissionable material. We should be fine as long as the duct tape holds out.

-But by far the largest consumable sourced to the band takes the form of beer. To ensure we replace what is ingested we have developed a lumberjack inspired creation called Logger Lager, a pale ale created by our drummer we call a Billsner, a German heavy beer we call Kraut Stout and that most pedestrian of ales, the ambler bock. One thing’s for sure, we put the pee in IPA.


Make sure that you make plans with us this weekend as we take the following week off for personal reflection and Zoomba classes…


Friday check us out at Malabar Mo’s from 7 to 11…


Saturday we can be found at Tiki Bar and Grill in Sebastian, on Indian River Blvd, just south of Main Street….

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