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Absolute Blue Invitation 7/07/17 - 7/09/17

 

Absolute Blue Literizes

 

We have often been asked what happens on weekends when Absolute Blue is not performing. Considering our recent time off we are in a position to answer this accurately and completely. Since world peace is at hand, global hunger has been eliminated and we are now Making America Great Again, we turn our attention to other relevant topics. It has long been widely known that American literature has grown stagnant and we are currently losing our edge over the rest of the world. While other bands are content to sit by and watch this happen, The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love is taking action. We have taken the liberty to update and revitalize some classic titles and painstakingly retooled these to make them more commercially viable while still maintaining relevancy to the reader. The result, we believe, will leave you spellbound, with renewed confidence in the US’s ability to provide epic entertainment, as commonly found within our music:

 

-A Farewell to Armstrong: Skip provides an in depth look at the USADA’s controversial decision to ban Lance from competition and the affect that it had on him both medically, bycically and testicularly.

-War and Pizza: Set in a dystopian future where pizza chains have aligned and declared war against each other.  Kevin’s story follows the deep dish atrocities carried out by the Papa John fundamentalists and the stuffed crust barbarity conducted by the Little Caesar extremists.

-Of Mice and Menopause: Bill brings us an anecdotal tale of the nuanced changes, mentally, physically, and emotionally, in middle aged women. As told by small rodents.

-Beowolfenstein: Tom blends the terror of a mythical Scandinavian monster with Nazis in this interpretation of the landmark first person shooter game. Grendle that, bitches.

-The Old Man and the Ceiling: Don’s extensive struggles with renovating the living room is told in excruciating detail. Yes, it’s the literary equivalent of watching paint dry.

 

Join us for a full weekend beginning Friday at Squid Lips in Melbourne from 7 to 11…

 

Then Saturday it’s back to Grind and Grape in Vero Beach, just off Ocean Blvd on Bougainvillea…

 

And Sunday it’s Millikens at the Port from 2 to 7…

 

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