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Absolute Blue Invitation 1/26/18 - 1/27/18

 

Absolute Blue Culinizes

 

Due to an egregious security breach at the Absolute Blue Corporate Headquarters we understand that a series of confidential emails and correspondence has been compromised and forwarded to a number of media outlets. So as we speak, intimate details of our sordid culinary history are now hitting multiple social media platforms. In an effort to mitigate any potential legal action, minimize any public outcry or curtail beatings, we will forge on with our full disclosure, or as Skip said when he first saw us on the beach, “Damn the four speedo’s, full speed ahead”!  So in the spirit of full transparency we feel compelled to tell you about the time Don proposed an Apprentice themed cooking show called Firin’ Chef, or when Tom was a contestant on the failed pilot of Say Yes To The Asparagus, when Bill showed up to Cupcake Wars with several semi-automatic weapons andr when Kevin’s appearance on Top Chef was so horrific it was almost renamed Stop, Chef! But that’s not all. Other leaks include the band’s favorite recipes:

 

-Skippered Herring: A favorite of Skip’s grandmother in her later years, when she forgot to remember that she was not in fact Jewish.

-Bill Pickle: Using a special recipe that combines his family’s secret seasoning with a pinch of Lou Dobbs, sprinkled with Glenn Beck and a dash of Sean Hannity. Making cucumbers great again.

-Tomelette: Start by beating 3 eggs into submission. Fold in a generous portion of contempt, blend with a dollop of disdain and a splash of condescension. Serve with a gratuitous portion of angst and garnish with indifference.

-Kevinly Hash: Chunks of smoked fish and cream cheese combined in a light sorbet. Forget cleansing the palate, this will most likely remove that sucker completely.

-Chili Don Carne: Reviled not so much for the absence of beans but for the presence of MEET, a beef substitute and unintentional byproduct of nuclear fission that can cause spinal enlargement, spinal shrinkage, mental loss, mental gain, constipation, incontinence or in some cases everything to stay pretty much the same.

 

Join us for a Saturday at Millikens Reef at the Port from 5 to 10…

 

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