Absolute Blue Invitation 2/23/18 - 2/25/18

Absolute Blue Olympicizes

It’s that time again. Every four years they come together in the spirit of compassion and comradery to perform superhuman acts of endurance and agility. But enough of Skip’s love life. It’s also time for the Olympics. I know what you’re thinking. More of the same old events, the same old countries and the same old gender questionable competitors. And with the technological advancements in equipment such as cutting edge polymers and aerodynamically designed suits, we have gotten even further away from how our ancestors intended the games to be played. Naked. That’s sure to put a rise in your ratings. And that’s not all the changes we have in mind. Even now we are negotiating for Fergie to sing all the national anthems. If you will recall, last time we went so far as to pair events with food and drink combinations, like Skeleton and Beef Wellington or Alpine and White Wine. But this time we take a big step forward with the following possibly innovative, probably irresponsible and most likely felonious offerings:

-Robertsled: Instead of one at a time, all contestants race at once, Mad Max style. They live, they die, they live again.

-Transgenderthon: Open to all sexes/species.

-Soup Or G: We’ll take the G.

-Downhill: We’ve been nailing this for many years.

-Emoguls: Goth contestants compete in nihilistic piercing competitions to see who cares the least.

-Slalalomland: Skiing meets The Voice in this hybrid competition that is sure to bring back the glory days of the sports musical.

-Deluge: Down the mountain. Feetfirst. In the rain. Probably naked.

Join us for a double header at Keith’s Oyster Bar at Cocoa Beach Pier Friday and Saturday from 6 to 10…

The Sunday it’s back to Millikens at the Port from 2 to 7…