Absolute Blue Invitation 4/26/18 - 4/28/18

Absolute Blue Medicalizes

The many contributions made by The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love to the local music community have been well documented. We developed the first thirty minute break, created a lasting history with several local law enforcement agencies and have finally perfected the fart joke. But lesser known are the contributions made in the medical field. In an effort to further the advancements of medical science, provide valuable research data, but mostly cause we needed the five bucks, we have participated in a number of clinical trials. For example, in a classic case of operant conditioning, we were shown pictures of a voluptuous woman repeatedly, then asked to close our eyes and to ‘See Alice’. The physiological responses were measured and ED history was made. But that's not all. We have also played an integral part in the following:

-In contrast to the above, a sugar pill designed to counter the effects of Viagra called the Flacebo.

-The use of a new local painkiller specifically for the buttocks, called either Analgesic or Anusthesia, depends.

-For those afraid of commitment, a less invasive alternative for the more common procedure, the semicolonoscopy. Don’s on his fourth.

-A method of inserting a tube and extracting only coffee, called Decafiterization.

-Determined through our own research that carrotitis cannot be caused by consuming carrots. Orally anyway.

And that doesn’t count when we thought they threw in some west coast states as a bonus when negotiating the Louisiana Purchase, thereby becoming the very first Oregon Donor…

Friday we return to Keith’s Oyster Bar at the Cocoa Beach Pier from 6 to 10…

Then Saturday it’s Siggy's in Palm Bay from 9:30 to 1:30…