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Absolute Blue Invitation 8/16/18 - 8/18/18

Absolute Blue Assures

We at Absolute Blue, in our never ending quest to bring you the latest innovations, original entertainment choices and questionable business practices have done it again. We have partnered with financial experts, renown economists and 2 Hooters girls to develop an ill-conceived yet highly impractical solution to an ongoing problem. How many times have you heard the wrong lyrics to a Lynyrd Skynyrd song, or a wrong note when listening to Chicago that left you confused, anxious or questioning the world we live in and/or your specific place within it? Well now for a small monthly premium and most likely a huge copay, you can simply download our mobile app, answer some basic questions detailing your specific emotional trauma and you could immediately be eligible for pizza coupons, BOGO Chipotle vouchers or rare Pokemon. Call it Insuretainment. Or Entersurance. Whatever. And our supplemental packages can protect you against fart jokes, republican posturing and the occasional flying drumstick.

I know what you’re thinking. We’ve heard this all before. Like that time we presented our term insurance product, Absolute Blue Life and that’s almost what they gave us. Or our equity broking service that in fact left us broke. Or that portfolio management service that went starboard. Or the bitcoin investment that came back to bite us. This time it’s probably different. Or it might be. Maybe. Ok, probably not…


Join us for a highly unusual and suspect Thursday at The Avenue in Viera from 5 to 8…

Friday night is a private function but Saturday it’s back to Brews and Blues, on Pennsylvania just off 192 in beautiful St. Cloud, 7:30 to 11:30…

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