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Absolue Blue Invitation - 10/25/19 - 10/26/19


Absolute Blue Breaksfastizes

We remain undeterred by past failures in deployment of goods and services from our Absolute Blue Culinary Arts division and have developed yet another efficient if not edible innovation tailored to today’s modern lifestyle. It’s a step above our earlier efforts, such as Runaway Café, which revolutionizes fast food by eliminating the need to stop. Merely drive by and we provide a variety of poorly made menu items through an open window. Unfortunately, we left coffee on the menu and as a cash only venture Kevin was in concussion protocol multiple times when customers paid with rolls of quarters. We can’t even mention our other programs due to pending litigation, such as our chicken delivery system, based on Meals on Wheels, called Fryers on Tires. This time we scale things back and focus on the most simple of products for the most important meal: 


-Discount Chocula: Budget version of the beloved breakfast food produced with questionable ingredients by questionable workers under questionable conditions. Made with real chalk. 

-Honey Bunches of Boats: Gelatinous plant based fragments stamped into various shapes resembling canoes, sloops and pontoon boats. Special Halloween edition includes Titanic, Lusitania and Mary Celeste. 

-Alfalfa Bits: Our vegan entry. To be avoided at all costs. See also Beirut Loops. 

-MooseLix: All organic and so named as that’s how Don described the taste. Not sure we want to know any more but one thing’s for sure, it puts the NO! in granola. 

-Tweeties: These bits of leftover carcasses and recycled cardboard are designed to appeal to the younger generation and spell out such nonsense as LOL, OMG and WTF. Guaranteed to have no nutritional or grammatical value. 


Join us for a special Saturday at Sunset Cafe in Cocoa Beach, where 520 meets the river, from 5 to 10…

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