Absolute Blue Invitation 4/12/13 - 4/13/13

Absolute Blue Apologizes…Again

It appears as though some took issue with the wording of last week’s announcement, where we referred to Luxembourg’s culture as banal, when in fact they are a warrior people, or at least avid readers. We were also surprised to learn that our weekly notification is regularly translated into 123 Languages and dialects and has offended just as many. Therefore, we would like to offer an apology for the following countries, peoples, organizations or factions: The People’s Republic of Congo, Icelandic Fundamentalists, Trinidad and/or Tobago, bits of Uzbekistan, what’s left of USSR, what will someday be Free Lanka and the seasonal inhabitants of Antarctica, where Don has been burned in effigy and throngs in thongs have protested against us with signs reading “Screw You, Absolute Blue” which we thought quite clever and have retained the rights to use in future promotional campaigns.

We have also heard from NOW, who has cited 187 separate instanced of derogatory, inflammatory or incendiary remarks against the female species (fortunately their archives only went back 6 weeks). In response we have issued a global apology for any and all remarks made about: the late Margaret Thatcher’s booty, Janet Reno’s bust and Nancy Pelosi’s lack thereof, any female or transgendered Kardashian, as well as stripper Poles and Czechoslovakians. Even PETA and ASPCA got into the act, as apparently flatulent cows and sheep are now under their jurisdiction.

After all this, believe me we have learned our lesson. For another week at least…

Friday finds us at Squid Lips in Melbourne from 7 to 11…

And Saturday it’s The Old Fish House at Treasure Coast Marina in Grant from 6 to 10…