Absolute Blue Invitation 5/10/13 - 5/12/13

Absolute Blue's Reality

We have finally received clearance for our newest reality tv show called 'Band Wagon'. It's a simple concept: a series of local musicians live aboard a flatbed traveling at 25 mph with nothing to live on but stale CheezIts and their collective wits. Which means Absolute Blue should be eliminated within minutes. One by one, contestants will be voted or bludgeoned off by former contestants, celebrity hosts and NRA members until one remains. Participants will strategize, alliances will be created and trysts will form. Contestants will compete for prizes such as a national recording contract, a state of the art sound reinforcement system and 10 minutes in a closet with Nicki Minaj or Mariah Carey (or 5 minutes with both). Or course there will be surprises along the way, such as Weapons Time, where contestants will be armed with blunt instruments such as cowbells and trumpets, and a 'Jump On The Band Wagon' segment where former competitors will have a chance at redemption if they can overcome the onslaught of insults and bodily fluids thrown by participants and successfully leap onto the 'Wagon'. The combination of mayhem and bloodletting will render all other reality shows irreverent if not irrelevant. Dennis Rodman has agreed to host, who will share his unique form of detente as well as fashion tips. Obvious merchandising implications include Remington, Crisco and Levitra, so it's as good as gold...

We start a big weekend at Lou's Blues in Indialantic from 9:30 to 1:30 Friday...

Then it's Squid Lips in Melbourne Saturday from 7 to 11...

And we celebrate the Mother of all Days Sunday from 2 to 6 at Coconuts...