Absolute Blue Invitation 5/11/12-5/12/12

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Category: Front Page News

Published on Thursday, 10 May 2012 08:31

Written by Absolute Blue

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Absolute Blue Figures

Some time ago, under the veil of secrecy and Fifth Amendment considerations, Absolute Blue secretly partnered with a marginally reputable Marketing Research firm and brokered a deal for them to supply detailed statistics regarding our target market in exchange for dropping unfounded charges and having Don refrain from emailing questionable materials to their corporate headquarters. We are now proud to present a sampling of the result of this year long effort to define our customer profile:

61% favor same sex marriages; 59% also favor same species marriages

32% favor the death penalty; 31% of those for people that favor same species marriages

41% believe in the existence of a higher power; 31% of those think it’s Nancy Pelosi

72% favor a complete military withdrawal of Afghanistan; 92% of those couldn’t spell it (withdrawal)

18% believe in reincarnation; 10% of those want to come back as the same sex; 8% same species; 6% Nancy Pelosi; 2% as flowers

Absolute Blue plans to use these in a variety of ways to allow us to increase customer satisfaction, provide a more enjoyable experience for our audience and for our general amusement…

 

Join us Friday for an evening of premeditated transgressions at Squid Lips in Melbourne from 7 to 11..

Then Saturday at Lou's Blues from 9:30 to 1:30...