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Absolute Blue Invitation 2/17/23 - 2/18/23
- Details
- Category: Front Page News
- Published on Wednesday, 15 February 2023 20:58
- Written by Absolute Blue
- Hits: 49
Absolute Blue Inquirizes
I know. I’ve tried to stay away but always feel compelled to come back to you. I’ve given this a lot of thought and there seems to be so much that needs to be said, so many questions left unanswered. Such as:
-If you sneeze as loud as you ever have while playing Pokémon, is that your Peak Achoo?
-Would those afraid of the Middle East possibly have Iraqnaphobia?
-Could the tea shortage in England become Kettleclysmic?
-When pasta spills is it Fallenguini?
-Was the guy that fell when trying to kick a dog Karmalized?
-Would those that study the peculiar eating habits of Edgar Allen be Podietrists?
-Can those lightbulbs that don’t work anymore be considered Incandoesnt?
-If the suspect gets knocked out, is he Perpendicular?
-Could the homeless in France be considered Parisitic?
-Should those that feel they must show everyone their new ink be called Tattooitous?
-Would not utilizing kitchen space efficiently be CounterProductive?
-And finally, if you sleep through the night but dream you have insomnia, do you wake up tired?
For the answer to these and more, join us Friday night at Cocoa Moose, on Clearlake, just off 520, from 6 to 10. It’s open to the public and this will be the last chance to catch The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love for a couple weeks due to court mandated anger management sessions, hot yoga classes, parole check-ins and our regularly scheduled spa days…
Absolute Blue Invitation 12/02/22 - 12/03/22
- Details
- Category: Front Page News
- Published on Wednesday, 30 November 2022 19:12
- Written by Absolute Blue
- Hits: 53
Absolute Blue Feasticizes
We are back after our hiatical and look forward to this weekend when we will see how many notes we have forgotten how to play. Personally, I cannot recall A# or Db, however I have created 2 new notes, that I call Bob and Jimmy, so it works out. The good news is that we celebrated our 28th Thanksgiving potluck together and were fortunate enough to find a website that specializes in genetically modified poultry, then sure enough, three weeks later our I Can’t Believe It’s Not Turkey was delivered. The meal started out with two soup dishes, a Miso Honey and what can only be described as a Rental Soup due to its purgative nature. Following these was the aptly named Seizure Salad. Then came a still frozen vegetable dish we called Arctikchoke. The next course was a charcuterie board, which was really just a 2X4 with hot dog slices. But that’s not all:
-Don brought his Kickasserole, full of ingredients better left unsaid.
-Skip misplaced his recipe and wound up with a dish we now refer to as Forgotten Potatoes.
-In an effort to eliminate any remaining nutritional value, Tom deep fried fruit slices for what he called his Appletizers.
-Bill brought a melted cheese dish that we could only call Fondon’t.
-Kevin claimed his sweet potato dish was an aphrodisiac, and sure enough after dinner we were feeling a bit Yamorous.
Join us for a Friday night at Mainstreet in Downtown Melbourne from 6 to 10…
Then Saturday, it’s Squid Lips in Melbourne from 6 to 10…
Absolute Blue Invitation 09/09/22 - 09/10/22
- Details
- Category: Front Page News
- Published on Wednesday, 07 September 2022 22:00
- Written by Absolute Blue
- Hits: 62
Absolute Blue Relationalizes
Through the years The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love has attempted many team building exercises designed to strengthen strategic synergy and build a more dynamic working structure. At one point they tried to learn sewing together, but it seemed too superstitchious. Then there was the time the entire band took part in a theatrical presentation of the history of communism and wound up being redacted. They also tried camping but found it had little potential. They tried a public speaking class but talked so much they were deemed insaytiable. More recently they got together at Don’s house to watch election results and were all taken aback when Palin was unsarahmoniously denied office by Alaskan voters. And just this week they tried giving up beer for sports drinks but all agreed they were inconsequenchial. They also shared some individual insights intended to build trust and confidence in each other but most likely will be used for periodic if not constant ridicule:
-Skip let us know that he hates it when people constantly say yes to him calling it agreegious.
-Because of his aversion to oatmeal, we call Don imporrigable.
-Bill went to the local Irish bar a second time last week so he is officially a republican.
-Kevin joined a fishing team where he gets paid for setting lines, making him a procastinator.
-Tom tried to get out of the lease for his Ford SUV, but it was inescapable.
Please join us for a Saturday night at Squid Lips in Melbourne from 6 to 10…
Absolute Blue Invitation 11/04/22 - 11/05/22
- Details
- Category: Front Page News
- Published on Thursday, 03 November 2022 00:51
- Written by Absolute Blue
- Hits: 34
Absolute Blue Reconnectizes
Hello! Yeah, it’s been a while. Not much, how bout you?
Yes, it’s been some time since The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love has reached out, as always in a non threatening manner. We come to you today to bring you news regarding how the organization will operate moving forward. Due to unforeseen circumstances the band will be taking some time off. Not so much a hiatus and not quite a sabbatical, perhaps more of a hiatical. So after this weekend, our next performances will be December 2 and 3. These three weeks will be the longest break in 25 years, pandemics, plagues, earthquakes, locusts, hurricanes, droughts, avalanches, tsunamis, landslides, blizzards and wildfires notwithstanding. We will leave the reason for this break undisclosed in an effort to be more mysterious because mystery is cool. But rest assured, we’ll be back and will be adding new venues next year.
In the meantime, make sure to get out this weekend starting Friday at Squid Lips in Melbourne from 6 to 10…
Then Saturday it’s Mainstreet in Downtown Melbourne from 6 to 10…
Absolute Blue Invitation 08/12/22 - 08/13/22
- Details
- Category: Front Page News
- Published on Wednesday, 10 August 2022 23:42
- Written by Absolute Blue
- Hits: 76
Absolute Blue Religicizes
I was recently asked to participate in a church service and met with the Father in advance. He was very pleasant and I was surprised to see that he had two full sleeves. He told me at length about the tattoos, each of which depicted a religious scene and it felt like I was attending Tatechism. He showed me the Church app and how you could apply for a variety of Church services, which seemed very techumenical. We prepared some litorgy, which is not near as fun as it sounds, and toured the chancery which turns out is not a casino at all. I was asked to read from first Corinthians and I rambled on about my experiences in leather work. There was then some talk of excommunication, but I swear I have not even texted my former wife. The whole thing was a bit confusing and I was left with some questions:
-I know Adam and Eve fell from grace when they tasted the forbidden fruit, but wouldn’t that be considered Applestolic?
-I saw a well known Democrat in line for communion but wasn’t sure that they gave rites to lefts.
-If a group of priests won a competition over another denomination, would they declare Vicarry?
-If I mistakenly repeated a short hymn, would that be a paradoxology?
-If I wanted to determine how to end a church service, would I look in the benedictionary?
Join us for a Friday night at Squid Lips in Melbourne, 6 to 10…
Then Saturday it’s Island Time in Cocoa Beach from 5 to 9…