Absolute Blue Invitation 08/05/22 - 08/07/22

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Category: Front Page News

Published on Wednesday, 03 August 2022 17:57

Written by Absolute Blue

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Absolute Blue Kernelizes

It is with great pride that we announce the development of a new product that is sure to revolutionize food production worldwide. After years of working with little known Vegitoligist PhD candidates from Cornell, we have created a crop that will grow in the most arid of climates, with little water required. And since the kernels tend to clump together, making it difficult to transfer into designated containers, we are calling it Hard Pour Corn. However, in bringing our product to market, there are problems. Turns out that it’s not just what I call the bunion on my left foot, but Big Corn is a real thing. Be it Yellow, Pop, Sweet or Jimmy Cracked, they control it all. So we turned our focus to other markets, namely in South America. This shouldn’t be difficult, but turns out they have countries there with strange names. So we have come up with some minor changes to appeal to real American consumers. Please feel free to Peruse:

-Imagine if you will the very first theme parked country, Shrekuador.  

-Since we understand that they are huge football fans, Super Bolivia.

-Due to the popularity of hospital dramas there, Paraguay’s Anatomy.

-Because of the absurdly high rate of wine consumption per capita, Argentino Grigio.

-The largest fertilizer producing country in the world, Manuraguay.  

Join us for a Friday night at Tiki Bar and Grill in Sebastian, on Indian River Blvd, just south of Main Street, from 7 to 11…

Then Saturday it’s Mainstreet in Downtown Melbourne 6 to 10…

And our last Sandbar performance of the season, 4 to 8 Sunday…

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