Absolute Blue Invitation 6/17/22- 6/19/22

Details

Category: Front Page News

Published on Wednesday, 15 June 2022 22:25

Written by Absolute Blue

Hits: 52

Absolute Blue Classifizes

At this point we have made the Horn Dogs Of Love a household name. But what we have yet to figure out is the exact taxonomy of the species. We have narrowed it down to two distinct subspecies, Donankevin and Kevinandon. And using carbon dating, a common practice before eHarmony, we were able to determine this could quite possibly be the first case of canis interruptus, which makes sense as many times we can’t seem to get a word in edgewise. Through DNA testing, the collection of which was highly questionable and most likely criminal, we were able to determine that they are most likely closely related to the order olfactorous superfluous and based on the smell we would have to agree. A more detailed analysis indicated that they descended from acutus vulgaris, which explains the fart jokes. Another possibility is accidentilus evacuous which explains the soiled newspapers or stains on the couch, depends. This belongs to the family kriskristopherus californicus, which explains Don’s love of west coast country music and proliferous aquaticus which is obviously Kevin. But then it gets a little fuzzy. For a specific species we have narrowed it down to the following possibilities:

-Chiwawa: Inspired by a chain of Mexican convenience stores.

-Snickerpoodle: A fuzzy breed that never gets hangry.

-Brautweiler: The original hot dog.

-Halfmastiff: Not sure about the other half.

-Hardcorgi: For those who like their heavy metal with a little fluff.

Join us for a Friday night at Main Street in Downtown Melbourne 5 to 10…

Then Saturday it’s Squid Lips in Melbourne from 6 to 10…

And we finish things off with a Sunday at Sunset Waterfront Bar and Grill in Cocoa Beach from 3 to 8…

• < Prev
• Next >