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Absolute Blue Invitation 11/02/18 - 11/03/18

Absolute Blue Sugarcedes


It’s that spooky time of year in which children dress up to gather together and travel door to door, gathering entitlements from unsuspecting neighbors. It’s also one of the most important consumer holidays with gross sales surpassing Arbor Day, Yom Kippur and National Poetry Day combined. As much of this is due to confectionery purchases, we have developed a line of products sure to appease or appall. Initial product testing was ambivalent towards our Bee Gee’s inspired confection, Maurice’s Pieces, and our Simpson’s themed D’oh Henry, but was still much better than our line of women’s products, such as Feminems, Chick-o-stick and JLo Pez. Or the infectiously good Staffy Taffy. All potential litigation aside, we undauntedly searched for the next big thing by asking each member of The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love, formerly known as the 5 Buskateers, to design a product specifically tailored to their own personal quirks, idiosyncrasies and/or peculiarities. The result:


-Skipples: Fear the rainbow.

-Hot Tomales: Just like our bass player it combines natural, artificial and non existent ingredients.

-Billky Way: The ultimate apologetic confection. Being tried for murder? Caught embezzling company funds? Cheating on your taxes? Sorry, I was eating a Billky Way.

-Kevinheads: Our trombone player has created a product so sour that he has been called a bad mother pucker.

-Donkin Don-uts: America runs over them.



Only one Absolute Blue performance this weekend, Saturday at Sandbar, at the end of 520 in Cocoa Beach, from 9 to 1…

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