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Absolute Blue Invitation 1/19/19 - 1/20/19

Absolute Blue Shutsdown


One wonders how it ever got to this point. How a simple ideological difference manifested itself into a complete disruption of the normal flow of goods and services. It is only during these trying times that we realize the width and breadth of such an interruption, the impact it has on our daily lives. Each faction is quick to blame the other, but we here at Absolute Blue note that in the meantime, do we as a people stop our normal lives, our work and tax paying? Of course not. It is with this in mind that we are doing all we can to get things moving again. And so we address these fundamental differences directly. Tom and Skip maintain that we stick to the old and classic fart jokes while Bill and Kevin embrace new and innovative fart jokes. And in a bold and strategically questionable move, Don has cast a vote of No Confidence in the current Absolute Blue administration. The methodology here is unclear at best, but it turns out that this is a right granted to each active member. Even Don. I looked it up. But the time for action is now, as recent studies have shown that we are at an historic low in the use and application of fart jokes themselves, and the attendance to marginally passable music is trending sharply downward as well. Soon the Absolute Blue shutdown will impact us all in heretofore unprecedented fashion.


It is because of this that The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love has agreed collectively to set aside any differences no matter how inconsequential or irrelevant, immaterial or mundane, and declare this Sunday, January 20, 2019, as a day to come together, more specifically at the Crab Stop in Sebastian from 2 to 6, and reach across the table, not to strike with vengeance upon thy adversary, but in a token gesture of brotherhood and for the common good. Monday, however, we will resume our pursuit of crushing the bastards…

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