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Absolute Blue Invitation 3/08/19 - 3/09/19

Absolute Blue Reducizes


Guys we know what it’s like. After a certain age it’s perfectly normal to lose a step or 2. But what about those of us that would rather lose 4 or 5? Those that are out mountain biking and running 5k’s when there is so much SportsCenter and Bill O’Reilly to be watched? And ladies, we get it. Would it be so hard to turn down the Mississippi leg hound factor and sleep through the night every once in a while? It is with this in mind that the pharmaceutical division of Absolute Blue, The Worst Drugs You’ll Ever Love, after hours of research and a few horrific clinical trials are ready to test market their newest product, sloyerassicillan, mostly on street corners and parking lots. Get ready for longer naps, some perhaps permanent. Keep them guessing if you’re comatose or just a good listener. Is it lethal or just lethargy? Only one way to find out. Ask your doctor, pharmacist or that weird guy at the end of the street about sloyerassicillan. Now available in little plastic baggies.


-Don’t take sloyerassicillan if you’re allergic to sloyerassicillan.

-Don’t take sloyerassicillan if you don’t like sloyerassicillan.

-Don’t take sloyerassicillan if you are pregnant, plan on becoming pregnant, if you plan on getting someone pregnant, if you look like your pregnant or look at someone who is pregnant.

-Don’t take sloyerassicillan if you’ve never heard of sloyerassicillan.

-Don’t take sloyerassicillan if you can’t say ‘sloyerassicillan’.

-Don’t take sloyerassicillan in combination with other hallucinogenics. Just kidding. Trip on.

-Can’t afford sloyerassicillan? Don’t buy sloyerassicillan.


Join us for a Friday night at Brews ‘n Blues in St Cloud, on Pennsylvania Ave, just off 192 from 8:30 to 12:30…

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