Absolute Blue Invitation 6/06/14 - 6/08/14

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Category: Front Page News

Published on Wednesday, 04 June 2014 22:14

Written by Absolute Blue

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The Absolute Blue Pledge

It’s that time of year when we reach into the bowels of the Absolute Blue resource library in a feeble attempt to cover our collective asses, both spiritually, emotionally and legally. Yes, it’s time to review and sign the Absolute Blue Pledge. Sometimes viewed as just another desperate attempt to bolster consumer confidence, boost customer loyalty and make new friends, but it’s that and so much more. Forged in the cold hard sweat of unbridled revelry, this mission statement captures the essence of The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love even as our forefathers created their groundbreaking vision of musical mediocrity and cold beer. Please repeat with me:

I pledge allegiance to the band, called Absolute Blue from ’Merica. We won’t pee in public, in which we’ll stand, in ovation, then applaud, get political, take Hillary for just us, not all.

Please sign the above in crayon, ink or preferably blood and send to our corporate headquarters at:

1035 Despairity Blvd

Bangor ME 04401

There now, don’t you feel better? We do too…

It’s a full weekend beginning Friday at Squid Lips in Melbourne from 7 to 11…

Then it’s a Saturday night at the Tiki bar in Sebastian, just south of Main Street on Indian River Dr also from 7 to 11…

And we finish up with a Sunday at Coconuts in Cocoa Beach from 2 to 6…

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