Absolute Blue Invitation 1/30/14 - 1/31/14

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Category: Front Page News

Published on Wednesday, 28 January 2015 23:09

Written by Absolute Blue

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Absolute Blue Rambles

Hey, y’all! Thanks for stopping by. We’ve got a lot to cover so let’s get going.

In sports news, the Deflategate debate still rages. Our official stance is that 2 less psi makes the football easier to grip, however chances are that at some point during the game both teams are gripping it so let’s get on over this one shall we.

And fortunately we prepared for the big sou’easter that has already devastated tee times from Ft Myers to Punta Gorda, just cause we like to say Punta. In its wake lawn chairs remain toppled and many garden gnomes remain missing and presumed broken, or at least chipped. And we have officially named this Super Duper Storm Candi, after a former exotic dancer that is now a cashier at Publix, whose lines are longer than anyone else’s. This may or may not be a metaphor.

Speaking of money, now with crude prices now eclipsing Mountain Dew Baja Blast, we have green lit the latest in the Absolute Blue product line. Tired of your digital devices losing power and the constant hassle of recharging and clumsy cords? Come out of the lithium age and try the Absolute Blue gas powered smart phone. Fumes and travel restrictions aside, it’s the perfect Valentine’s, Arbor Day or Yum Kippur gift.

We also would like to address the lack of diversity surrounding the recent nominations. We stand behind Brevard Live and feel strongly the non-Catholics will rebound next year when Episcopalians, Methodists and Druids will be fully represented at the Music Awards.

In other news Bruce Jenner may still be a man.

Join us for an epicurean Friday night at Shady Oaks in Palm Bay, at the southwest corner of Babcock and Malabar…

Then Saturday, barring any subsequent injunction, we will be at Coconuts from 7 to 11…

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