Absolute Blue Invitation 11/10/12 - 11/11/12

Details

Category: Front Page News

Published on Wednesday, 07 November 2012 20:57

Written by Absolute Blue

Hits: 2116

Absolute Blue Concedes

As our own Billy's Presidential Write In campaign met with disastrous results, we look back to see what went wrong. Fed up with incessant talking heads and relentless political banter, Bill took it upon himself to stop yelling at Bill O’Reilly on tv and begin a grassroots movement strategically designed to appeal to Everyman, or at least every other man. And as initial results proved positive, he yielded 75% of his immediate household, subsequent exit polls were not so kind. Turns out his platform was made of 2X4’s and plywood, his policies were follicies and he proved to be a truly incompetent incumbent. His concession came in the wee hours of the morning, perhaps inspired by Karl Rove, but more likely due to the fact he fell asleep during SportsCenter. Reflecting on his failed campaign he questioned his targeting of convicted felons and illegal immigrants. At a post-election interview his campaign manager said little but barked twice, then wagged his tail. As for Bill, there has been no comment, however he was seen frantically checking Travelocity for flights to Colorado and Washington…

As we reserve Friday for post election celebration/mourning and on Sunday tend to a private party, Saturday becomes the only performance this weekend for The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love. Join us 7 to 11 at Squid Lips for all the fun your mother never let you have…

• < Prev
• Next >