Absolute Blue Invitation 12/18/20 - 12/20/20

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Category: Front Page News

Published on Wednesday, 16 December 2020 18:17

Written by Absolute Blue

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Absolute Blue Attributizes

For far too long there has been a refusal to acknowledge a serious manifestation of our current crisis, where out of work musicians are being forced to seek other means of employment, often with disastrous results. This so called bandemic needs to be recognized preferably at a state and federal level with significant and non refundable bailout money or even job training for potential lobbyists or at least a copy of Money Laundering for Dummies. And we’re not talking about the time Kevin and Don worked for an agency of the New York governor’s office and wound up charged with Christymeanors or when Tom was found with a large piano and was accused of Grand Larceny or when Skip lit his instrument on fire and was the first to be indicted for Guitarson. No, this time it’s serious and may mean the beginning of the end for Absolute Blue, Where Music Goes To Die. Current complaints include:

-Tom picked up some work at a funeral home where cadavers turned up missing which they are saying is a clear case of Postmortembezzlement.

-Don sketched a silhouette of a female coworker and was subsequently charged with Rachel profiling.

-Kevin started writing soft core under the pen name Slick Dickens but copied extensively from existing works and now faces charges of Foreplaygerism.

-Bill expanded his landscaping business to include ornamental pieces, many of which were delivered broken which is being treated as a case of Gnomestic Violence. 

-Skip was asked to step down from his position as roadie for Chicago amid allegations of 25 or 6 to Forgery.

Join us for a pre Christmas get together at Squid Lips in Melbourne from 6 to 10 Friday…

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