Absolute Blue Invitation 4/23/21 - 4/25/21

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Category: Front Page News

Published on Wednesday, 21 April 2021 21:27

Written by Absolute Blue

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Absolute Blue Realizes

It was a tough decision, but we wound up closing down our do-it-yourself orthodontics service, Brace Yourself. The kind of choice you immediately regret, like when your boat motor gives out in the shallows, it’s Row vs Wade. So we turned our attention to a sure source of quick revenue: Real Estate. Because nothing describes The Worst Band You’ll Ever Love more than ‘broker’. And it was great at first. But turns out you’re supposed to have a ‘license’. And you can’t make up stuff about the property, even if you want it to be true. This led to the return of a substantial deposit for the Barbara Eden Bordello house and paying all closing costs for the Jim Morrison Peed In The Corner home. So we’re learning as we go but still don’t know why they call it a listing when the building is perfectly straight. And did you know if you are underwater in your home you have wrequity? If your family is from Central America you may have aztequity? And if you are in a Mims mobile home you most likely have rednequity? Yes, it’s fascinating. We also have plans to introduce a new financial product that you never have to worry about paying off as it is paid in perpetuity, called the evermortgage. And we now know that escrow is not just graffiti on a black bird. And that it’s currently a cellar’s market, most likely due to the lack of basements in our area. Sure, with others you may get foreclosed but we are prepared to offer 5. Just remember that Fanny Mae but Holly Would…

Join us for a big weekend of playing hits and breaking hips starting Friday at Squidlips in Melbourne 6-10...

Then we’re back to Tiki Bar & Grill, in Sebastian on Indian River Boulevard just south of Main Street, from 7-11...

And we finish off with a Sunday afternoon at Sandbar, at the end of 520 in Cocoa Beach, from 4-8...

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