Absolute Blue Invitation 7/16/21 - 7/18/21

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Category: Front Page News

Published on Wednesday, 14 July 2021 20:38

Written by Absolute Blue

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Absolute Blue Socializes

It was all supposed to be so easy. We started with a simple goal of increasing our online presence. But it’s hard to say where it went terribly wrong, when we created a tic tac Tick Tock or the Youtube that few viewed. Instead of charging forward to expand our digital footprint, we instead sounded a full retweet. It seemed there was only one last application we could try. We met both individually and collectively to determine the exact type of content that would be applicable for our versatile solutions to modern living. Unfortunately, we underestimated the stature of our audience and our postings were deemed so immature and childish that it was suggested they belong on Infantgram. We could physically hear our cyber existence diminish into irrelevance. Therefore, you will in most likelihood never get to experience the following:

-Skip tried to leverage his real time Bombay and Sapphire tasting to become the first ginfluencer.

-Bill created a complex evaluation of the current state of pornography which got him banned from several social media sites, the Space Coast Regional Airport and the Satellite Beach PTA in his effort to create the original role of skinfluencer.

-Don posted repeatedly about the potential legalization of a variety of substances in his attempt to establish himself as a heroinfluencer.

-Kevin used his extensive culinary skills to publish a series of pairings to become a vinfluencer, then later specialized in off dry to sweet rose selections as a zinfluencer.

-Tom’s disastrously misogynistic take on women’s issues resulted in him being banned from the internet entirely, so his plan to be the inaugural estroginfluencer is at least temporarily on hold.

A big weekend is in store for The Worst Band You’’ll Ever Love starting with a Friday night at Malabar Mo’s from 7 to 11…

Then Saturday it’s the Summer Bash at Squid Lips in Melbourne from 6 to 10…

And Sunday we’re back at Sandbar in Cocoa Beach, at the end of 520, from 4 to 8…

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